Lately I have been reading about so many diets. South Beach Diet and the non carbs alikes. And have been tempted a lot, because eliminating some foods but eating as much as you want from other is always sort of appealing to me. And the weigh coming in big ammounts, like in Atkins and SBD is always VERY appealing too.

It was then I remembered the Bank Account Concept Dr. M, one of the nutritionists I was seeing in the far away past, had so thoroughly explained to me once.

What is the Bank Account Concept one might ask.

I will try to explain it. (try, because I lack the bank terminology in english I'm afraid). So you all know these bank accounts that are attached to your bills. So your electricity and cell phone and rent and taxes and credit cards are all attached to your account and they get paid by themselves by deducting the correct amount of money. Now think of your account as being really low, with nothing in cos you neglected to put cash in it. And its almost the end of the month and you have bills waiting to be paid for a whole month now. What happens when you put money in your accounts is that the hungryformoney bills will absorb the money instantly and keep them in out of fear of you never giving them enough money again. (for the purposes of this you have to have some imagination, lol)

This is exactly what happens to our bodies as well. We leave them without carbs for a while, and the first bit of carb that goes in is instantly stored cos our bodies fear we will deprive them of carbs again. The tiny drop of olive oil in a body deprived of fats will be instantly stored because bodies needs fat and deprivation causes strain.

I went through this mentally for a long time last night. My husband was having sausages and I was thinking that if I was on Atkins I would be eating sausages dipped in Philly cream and I could feel my mouth water. And I was tempted to try Atkins again. I was thinking about butter and bacon and salomon and all the fatty things you are allowed in Atkins. Then I had this bad taste of ketosis in my mouth. The stiff mouth with the weird taste. I remembered one night years ago when I was trying Atkins that I woke up at 3 am, went straight to the kitchen and had 4 oranges. And I remember myself afterwards dipped fully in guilt cos I ate oranges! It was so insane! Oranges are good for me! Oranges are a gorgeous source of fibres, vitamin C and antioxidants! Butter is full of saturated fat can't possibly be better than orange!!!

Once again I asked myself again last night...oh golden balance, where are thy?

Tonight we will go to my niece's birthday party in my parents summer house. I'm curious what mom will come up with for me! And we are going to leave soon now and go shopping for sun tan lotions and holiday stuff. Exciting!!!!

Have a great weekend all!

And it is so true. Yesterday I left work and went to a shop to buy my niece's birthday present. I walked to this shop for about 2 km, they told me the thing I wanted was out of stock there, and I should try to their other shop, which was "ten minutes walk" away in the same street. After 75 minutes of walking I decided to use the remaining 34 seconds of battery in my cell and call them and ask them where the hell the shop was. The man who answered the phone was laughing hysterically when I told him that I was told by their saleslady that it is a 10 mins walk. "I apologise ma'am, but she is new. She should have told you it is 10 km away down the same street". I was both laughing and cursing. Laughing cos it was kind of a cute mistake she did and proved a hell of a lot of exercise for me, since I was walking like mad because closing time was approaching, and cursing because I had to be in the dressmaker's to pick up a dress she is making for me. So I was there late, and had to spend 30 mins waiting for her to do some changes in the dress because ... roll of drums... it was big!!!! Our last fitting was about 10 - 12 days ago, and the dress was bigger! :)

So I was home really late, around 10.45, totally tired by all this walking, and without Marie Claires and Elles and Vogues because I forgot them all in a plastic bag somewhere...the taxi?...the dressmaker's?...outer space?...I have no recollection at all!

I went to the kitchen and made a huge salad with tomatoes and peppers and cucumbers and onions and olives and feta, got undressed, put on my nightie and went to eat my dinner while watching some telly. I had about 4 pieces of my salad and I didn't want to eat anymore! I cut some watermelon, had again 3 pieces and wasn't hungry anymore! So what happened? I was puzzled. Cos I had a very small lunch too. And must have had 10 black coffees all day round. So either coffees and stress did it to me, or was too tired, or was having a normal person's appetite. We'll see ...

I went to bed a bit later than midnight, and woke up at 9 am with a kiss  without having any memory of the alarm. A. was still home (last working day for lucky him) and he said "Wake up honey, its 9 am, you told me you have an appointment at 10!" Apparently, my alarm went on at 730, he woke up, I told him to let me sleep some more and make sure I am up at 830 cos I had an appointment at 10, he was trying to wake me up for 30 mins, and I was not even moving! And I do not remember a single word. I must be more tired than I think I am!

In the back of my mind there are food thoughts. Weird, unknown food thoughts. Thoughts about not having food. And it is strange and weird and unfamiliar. Does it happen to you too? From one period of having icecream and chocolate and pitta gyros constantly in your head to go to periods where food is just necessary fuel? The quantities I am consuming lately are smaller than usual. It makes me nervous cos I think that perhaps - since this is the first period I am alone at work without my partner and have this super extra sized work load - due to stress at work and all the increased quantities in smokes and caffeine I have lost some appetite. But it also makes me nervous cos I am afraid that if I go back to the quantities I used to eat while dieting, I will not be loosing but gaining!

Ah golden balance...who have lost you for me to find you...sigh....

Yesterday it was not a non-exercise day after all :) After work, my assistant and I went to the post office for yet another massive send of our congress brochures. We finished around 7.30 p.m. and she had the idea of going for safe window shopping. Safe because shops in Greece are closed on Monday and Wednesday afternoons.. So we walked around the shops for a bit less than an hour, and then she had to go, so I decided to walk some more, resulting in 45 minutes brisk walk. I am pleased with myself!

Then I went home, made a deliscious chicken dish for my husband, and my veggies too, when I had a great idea about dinner. So I went to find my old WW points tracker, and saw the points for the amount of yogurt I am usually having, then looked for the equivalent points for feta cheese, and here is the recipe:

Grilled zucchinis, red yellow and green bell peppers, onions and eggplants
Very ripe tomatoes
Fresh oreganon
Olives
Feta cheese
a little olive oil
balsamic vinegar

All these mixed together spell divinity in capital letters! OH! and! Thanks Linda for correcting me! Linda said that my veggies are oven baked and not grilled! Which is more precise indeed!

So we were discussing our days with my husband when I told him that I went window shopping with N. and he asked me if I saw something I liked. See, I don't know if I had say this before, but our initial holiday plans involved a 5 day shopping spree in Amsterdam. We went there in February and the sales and shopping was amazing. So my husband said that as a gift for my progress we would go back in August, where the sales are even better. However, due to the Olympics, plane tickets have gone up crazy. We paid 200 euros each for the tickets and now they cost 598 euros each! So we decided that paying almost 800 more euros to the tickets would steal from our shopping, and that we better go again in February. But he has been really sweet and always asks me to go shopping for new stuff so that I celebrate the loss I have had so far.

So yesterday, that the shopping streets were quiet, I had all the time to really check things out. And I have concluded something that has really stunned me!

I am so very picky!!!!!

I had forgotten that about me. See, shopping with only one basic parameter in mind, and that being finding something that actually and simply fits, had me forget about so many things and especially style!

And now it feels like a whole new experience. Because, first, there are  clothes that I never looked at as being unable to fit in. You know, capri pants, tank tops, cute feminine skirts in bright colours that their seam  doesn't necessarily touch my toes , high heel sandals, cute gym wear. And dresses! Oh god the dresses! As a morbidly obese woman I never looked at dresses. I would look like a huge sack of potatoes in one! But now, as a semi-obese woman, I have found myself eying those dresses knowing they will fit and most probably look nice too.

A whole new world to explore! Beware Visa!

Today I did only 25 mins in the treadmill. Still got cramps. But had breakfast, and got lunch with me too! And tonight it's boys night out, so I will have my veggies and read a couple of Vogue's and Elle's and Marie Claire's and enjoy feeling totally vein thinking ONLY about clothes and shoes! (shhhhhhhh....and undies as well ;o)

So my thyroid is fine. And so is my prolactine. But my progesterone levels are at the lowest end of the normal range and this is not too good. My doctor said that progesterone levels change through the cycle, but yet he can't give me an explanation why my cycle has shrunk from 28 days to 23 now. He told me it can be stress, it can be weighloss, it can be me thinking about it all the time. So he suggested that what I can do is a series of ultra sounds during my next cycle to monitor the progress of my eggs. I thought about it and decided that I will do it in September after I am back from holidays. In the meantime, I am seriously thinking about quiting safe sex, though we had decided that we would start trying from October, since I have my big congress beginning of Oct. and have to work like crazy.

First things first though, and having a baby is my priority!

I ate nothing all day yesterday. Not that I intended to. But when I arrived home at 9.30 p.m. and still hadn't heard from my doctor (too many ceasarians and child births the last 24 hrs :) when I tried to eat some grilled chicken I felt I'd throw up. My stomach was so upset from stress I didn't want to disturb it further.

And I didn't have breakfast either this morning, and I am thinking about food now and it still makes me sick. Perhaps I will try something later.

And last night I got my period too, so this morning has been cramps and no treadmill. The cramps are still annoying and today will be the first day with no exercise at all for me :(

I will do my best for more time than usual in the treadmill.

Thank you all for your warm comments, they mean a lot!

This is all for now, I better get back to work cos today I haven't been able to do much at that state of mind!

I haven't slept well at all. I was stressing out all night about the test results I am taking this evening. It is 1.40 pm now and I want to call and ask in case the results turned in earlier than expected. I have thought of every possible horror story concerning my thyroid and fertility hormones.

I went home after work yesterday, got undressed as soon as I got in, put on my running shoes and got on the treadmill. Yeah, running shoes, and undies. And it was then I realised the exact amount of stress I have been on all day due to the bloody blood tests. Of course I was thinking about it. Of course I was wondering. Of course I thought I was stressing out 1% of what I was actually stressing out. Treadmill eased some of this tension, but not all.

Then we went to our friends' house, since my girlfriend got back from Chicago. She brought me two nice shirts size 12! I thought I'll save them for when I loose more weight. She asked me to try them on, and they both fitted perfectly! US sizes are so much roomier than UK or European sizes in general! I recently bought a shirt from Marks and Spencer and it is a size 16, which is a bit roomy, but 14 would be a bit tight. I wish there was a 15, it would be perfect for me!

I ate well yesterday. I mixed chicken mince with veggie "mince" turned out to yummy burgers. Some could say that I'm such a healthy eater. I say - and I know best - that I still like big portions for my dinner. So I grate lotsa veggies and add them to the meat mince and the quantity doubles. I also came up with a good idea for dessert last night. I had bought a couple of vanilla beans on saturday, and some really smooth tasting organic yogurt. So I took very ripe peaches, put them in the blender, scratched a big quantity of the vanilla bean in it, added the yogurt, blended all together, and put it in the freezer. I had some after we returned from our friends and it was wonderful. I had the remaining for breakfast this morning!

I need to do some grocery shopping soon. I am running out of veggies and that ain't good. Veggies are my saviour during this challenge. I grill tons of them and they are summery and fresh and yummy too!

I just realised that I could go on about tons of things. I could ramble about recipes, clothes, work stuff, the skirts I am making, my 18th birthday party, the day I met my husband, and still, my mind would be set on the blood test results. So I will spare you and go get some work done till the time comes for me to find out...

 

This is my reward for completing my first seven days of my 21 days challenge!

As of this morning I am 89.3 and that means I have lost 1.3 kilos since last Monday. Not bad huh? ;)

I feel good. I feel good because during the weekend I ate a little more than I should, but that was only bigger quantities of the foods I was allowed to eat. I had more grilled chicken, and more grilled fish, and more water melon than I should, but check the list of the things I could have had and didn't:

1. Home made french fries
2. Ice cream
3. Pizza
4. Pitta bread
5. Burgers, sausages, lamp chops, pork chops (all those were sitting right next to my poor chicken breasts in my dad's grill!!!)
6. Beef with mushrooms and caramelised onions in a hot, thick mustard sauce
7. Rice with butter and pine nuts
8. Various sweets, such as creme brulle, panacota, and you don't want to know what else basically cos I don't want to remember them!!!

I must have eaten kilos of grilled zucchinis and peppers and onion and mushrooms to resist those temptation. Along with my yogurt thingy. And lotsa water melon too to resist the sweets. But I did it and I am feeling good and proud of myself.

I walked a little, swam some, but didn't do much exercise. I think all my efforts were to resist the abundance of food in my parents' house. People would be over all day long. Others for breakfast, others for lunch, others for dinner. See my dad stopped working for the summer and has his 5 weeks off, so he was sort of celebrating the start of his summer :)

And I have also to tell you that my mom was a star. And I also have to tell you how she became one..hehehe

See, my mom, like all Greek moms, will make you eat what she has cooked. Cos she puts all her love and affection into cooking just the right thing for you. And she always magically knows what your crave at the time will be. And she always cooks it perfectly.

I had the grilled vegies scheme so I knew she would have made tons from that to please my husband - and she did indeed!- and I was thinking how I was going to resist everything without hurting her feelings.

But when we arrived Saturday afternoon, me on my new jeans and my white tank top, my mom was in the kitchen cooking. So we went inside the house to say hello, and I was calling her "Moooom we're here" when I saw her. She had such a funny face and then she laughed and hugged me and said "Oh you gorgeous carrot look at you in jeans and a tank top again!!!"
(ok...my mom and I call each other veggie names and it is sweet and cute and you are not allowed to laugh at us!!!!)

And for the first time in history, I asked my mom what goodies she was cooking, and she said "none of your concern. I have chicken breasts in the freezer. Go get them, I'll make some for you"!!!!!!!

I laughed so hard and so did she. But she never insisted nor made comments in the table during meals. She never said...oh come on eat this, once won't hurt you, nor she tried to justify my not eating by informing everyone else I am on diet.

It is so great to have my mom as an ally you know. Cos when we were leaving she asked me what are the things I am allowed to eat, and she meant the complete list (herbs too? what kind of herbs huh? oh and olive oil. What is your allowed daily quantity?Are you allowed all kinds of fruit? Milk? Sweeteners? Not even a tsp of honey?). Next Saturday there will be a BIG party in their house for my niece's 4th birthday. My brother and his family moved there for the summer too, and the party will be a big event. And I am sure that my mom won't make me eat stuff next weekend either. And I also know that great cook as she is, she will come up with things for me to eat totally on plan and decadently delicious too!

To end this long post I will have to say that this morning I didn't exercise nor had breakfast cos I had to go and do some blood tests. I have to have my thyroid checked and a couple of fertility hormones too, to see why my cycle has become smaller. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I am hoping all is fine and that my gyno is right and it is just tons of stress and weighloss causing it.

 

Yesterday I was still the good girl that has emerged from somewhere inside me. You know, the eatwellmoveasmuchasyoucanandthensomemore girl. And today I have been mighty good too. Treadmill in the morning - 60 mins, 6.5 km - melon for breakfast, grilled mushrooms and peppers with 3 tbsp of cottage (if you want to transform cottage to something more tasty, put it in the blender with your favorite herbs, pepper, a tsp of olive oil, and it becomes a decadent cream) and dinner is planned therefore safe.

But tomorrow I am going to the visit my parents in their summer house for the weekend. And I have to be strong! Cos me mom is such a typical Greek mom who will cook and cook (wonderfully if I may say so myself) and insist and insist that I at least try something.

I was thinking about it and I thought of a scheme hehehe. I am going to call her this evening and out of the blue tell her all about how A (my husband) has lately acquired a passion for grilled veggies. How he loves eating them with yogurt and spices. How happy he is when I make tons of them and have them around so he can munch on them anytime during the day. See me mom is head over heels  in love with A. and does everything to please him. I think this way I will have a huge supply of my main food around, and there is always fish in their household, so I will be safe. And so that you won't think bad of me, A does love grilled veggies too!

But what will really be a challenge is the way I feel.

I'm afraid that with all this stress lately at work and other stuff, when I arrive there and see my family in a relaxing atmosphere, and then have my mom try to pamper me with food and stuff, I am afraid I will be tempted-ier than I can sustain.

Truth is that I come every day here and report the previous good day I had. But a greater truth is that every day I think of comfort food constantly. Last night I went home late and then had to get ready to go to that club. And I was eating my food and was thinking about pitta gyros and pasta and icecream with every bite I took of my "healthy" meal.

One can say that I am strong. And driven by my strength I am resisting the temptations and staying faithful to my 21 day challenge.

But I can say something else. (And I know the truth too ;o)

It is not strength that drives me. Not even the burning desire I have so that I will put on my old jeans and a tacked in T-shirt and look great. It is my pertinaciousness that holds me so far. And I don't know if it is good or bad. I'm afraid that pertinaciousness leads to deprivation. (I'm also afraid that pertinaciousness is not spelled correct!) But I will take it for now...Otherwise, I'm afraid I will take up the ice cream offers!

I want to thank you for leaving comments in here. You are all so kind. And I feel so useless too! Because unless you write your email or url add I have no idea how to contact you! Ain't I useless indeed?! (puter wise at least ;o)

I had a good day yesterday. A good eating day I mean. Because all the rest of my day was bad.

I was at work till 9 pm. Too many crisis.

I know that holidays are coming. But for some reason August 8 feels like it is years away. And I already am stressing for what it will be expecting me as soon as I return to work on August 30.

This is dangerous you know. If I feel like this now, I am afraid that while on holidays I will have work stuff in the back of my mind.

I feel very tired today. It took all my willpower to get up. I wanted to sleep in so badly. I feel I need a couple of days away from everything. Even away from my friends and family. I dream of two days completely alone, in a beach, reading and swimming and sun bathing. And nothing else.

Tonight I have to go to a club. Everyone from the radio station I'm doing P.R. for arranged a big night out and I am invited. They thought this would be a treat for me, having someone to organise everything and me being the guest for a change. The bad thing is that the club they chose is one my company is doing the P.R. for. And the worst thing is that I don't want to go. I have my last appointment at 8 this evening. They are meeting in midnight there. That means I will get home around 9.30, and will have to cook dinner, and then get dressed and ready to go.

I am not sure I have enough energy to last me till the afternoon.

And I miss my scales too. I miss my daily morning weigh in. But I am resisting.

Treadmill this morning was a drag.

I managed 28 minutes and then almost collapsed in the sofa and felt like crying.

I wonder if it worths working that much. I am not getting richer either. Just crankier and crankier.

Allo me blog! Feel proud for me because I was so strong last night!

After work I went to see my bestest gf's husband. See, my girlfriend is visiting family in Chicago, and I am sort of looking after her husband. So the deal was I would go by their store near closing time, we would go to their house, where my husband would come after work, I would cook, and we would make all the plans for our 8 days of holidays, so that when Sofia returns depressed (she always returns depressed from Chicago cos she always misses her cousins there) we will have everything ready for her to cheer her up.

Safe it sounded, since I was doing the cooking!

But the men thought otherwise.

They had phoned each other secretly, and had arranged a binge! See, my gf's hubby is really big. Since March I persuaded to see my holistic guru and he is in a very tight program as well. He has lost 30 kilos since then, but still has 50 more to loose. Sofia has been watching him closely, but now she is away he decided to have a "day off". And he arranged it with my husband!

So we arrived at their house, and I was getting ready to get in their kitchen, when he told me to relax and have a glass of water and a smoke before cooking. He took my containers (I had cut the veggies I bought during lunch time in the office - tis nice to have a kitchen at work - for the grill, had bought chicken breasts for them, etc) and put them in the fridge.

So we started talking and then the doorbell rung and here comes my husband with his hands full of bags! Let me tell you what he brought:

Chinese fried goodies - philly and shrimp wontons, spring rolls, mince won tons, fried sesame shrimps
Burgers - bacon and egg burger, bacon mushroom melt burger, bbq burger
Potato skins with melted cheddar
3 pitta gyros
A pint of Haagen Dazs Cookies n' Cream
A pint of HD Strawberry Cheesecake
A pint of HD Belgian Chocolate

ALL OF THESE!!!!

And I left him standing with all this in his hands, went to the kitchen, took out their grilling pan, put my veggies on it, grilled them, took my yogurt, added some shredded cucumber and garlic, and returned to them.

I must tell you I was very angry when I entered that kitchen. I was angry with my friend, who is 37 yrs old (I know him since our early teens) and still weighs 155 kilos, probably for the same reasons I am sometimes angry with myself. I was angry with my husband because he eats a mountain of food and stays thin and fit like a supermodel. I was angry because I wanted to eat all these so much. And I was really hungry too, so I was extra cranky!

All the time I was cooking my meal none of them approached the kitchen, and they were mighty quiet too.

So when my food was ready, I took my plate and a fork, and went to the balcony. I peed my pants laughing when I saw them. Each was holding a piece of paper in front of their face with a :o( face on it and SORRY written too.

They were hilarious! Men can be such boys sometimes!

They ate almost everything. I ate my thing being killed by their foods smells all the time. I ate 2 slices of watermelon too. But nothing else. And I rediscovered that water with lotsa icecubes and leaves of spearmint and fresh basil tastes great and makes you feel like having a treat and not just water.

We had an evening full of laughs and teases. They treated me like I was their mean school teacher and I was lecturing them all the time pointing my finger to them. It was an act and we all enjoyed it. Needless to say my anger evaporated.

But we made all the plans for our holidays and we all got excited and we also called Sofia and we all had a blast!

This morning I woke up an hour later than I should have. And because I had stuff to do with banks and other administrative things, I had no time for the treadmill :(

But when I finished my chores I decided to walk to work, so I walked for an hour - about 4 to 5 kms. Athens is gorgeous when it is windy. Warm but not too hot, with clear blue sky. After a few days of strong wind (and its been windy for more than a week!) I get out of the house in the morning and I feel like I have cleaned my sunglasses! Do you know what I mean? Have you ever wore your sunglasses with dust and then cleaned it and realise that everything looks so much cleaner and brighter? This is Athens after windy days...cleaner and brighter!

I am really very happy! Last March, when I saw this holistic med, my body was in a very bad condition. I was so full of toxins, my liver and kidneys were tired, my skin was dull, you get the picture.
 
I went through a very tough detox for almost 3 months. First 3 weeks was a severe toughie. Half a yoghurt and a boiled apple for breakfast, a cup of boiled basmati rice and boiled carrots and broccoli with a little olive oil for lunch and a boiled apple and half a yogurt for dinner. No water 2 hrs before and after meals. No coffee. Horrendous tasting chinese herbs. You get the picture again.
 
His approach to weight loss is that in order to loose weight one should first detox their system. Toxins nest in the body fat. They somehow bond fat cells together. When someone is going through fat loss the toxins are released in our body. This is why all "western" diets suggest an increase in our water intake when dieting, so that we flush some of these toxins through out our kidneys.
 
So according to him, if I detox my system first, then the fat will loose its "bonds" and come off easier.
 
Since March I have lost 13 kilos with his approach. Actually From March to May I have lost 13 kilos. From May to July 19 I have been loosing and gaining the same couple of kilos. So yesterday I went to see him all determined as you might remember to ask him for another detox program.
 
So I went to his office, worded my claim, and had him examine me. He is usually very talkative while he examines. But not yesterday. After 20 minutes, he asked: "What did you say you want?" "A new 3 week detox" I said. "Oh...you sure?" he asked... "Yep, give it to me, I don't mind if it is tough like the one in March, I am determined to do it" I said proudly. "Yep, you do sound determined, and this is very good.." he said "...but there is a serious problem with your body now"
 
I panicked. What was wrong with me?! He must have seen the panic in my eyes, cos he said in a lighter tone ... "A detox diet requires one basic thing. The existence of toxins in one's body. And your body is mighty clean, besides your lungs, but eating right won't help with this" (I am a smoker to become an ex smoker in September to come hopefully, since we are planning in starting a family, but I'll have my smokes till then!)
 
I was stunned! I tell you. I think I was equally happy as if I magically got on the scales and read 69 kg!
 
I see him every fortnight. And we have been working a lot together. Acupuncture, herbs, mineral infusions. Our sessions are 60 mins long and they are all an adventure. And the best part is that they all have worked. I feel so much better, more energetic, etc. But to have him say I don't need a detox!!!!
 
Anyway...I been bubblier than bubbly!
 
So...he told me to put all my determination into loosing, and stop cheating with the excuse of learning to maintain! He can be so blunt at times...and
 
What I will eat for these next three weeks:
 
Breakfast: 2 pieces of the same fruit, half a yogurt
Lunch: a cup of boiled brown rice, grilled veggies, olive oil
or  120 gr lean protein, grilled or boiled veggies, olive oil, apple vinegar
Dinner: when I have rice for lunch dinner will be grilled veggies with baked potato and fruit. When I have protein for lunch dinner will be grilled veggies  and yogurt or cottage cheese.
 
I can have two more pieces of fruit during the day, no other dairy, and I negotiated one coffee too!!! If I'm hungry I can munch on carrots and cucumbers.
 
So here...my brand new eating plan.
 
It is funny how when I have such a strict routine to follow I get totally dedicated to it. Why can't I be normal???? lol
 
This morning I had my husband hide the scales again. I will weigh in next Monday.
 
I did 30 minutes on the treadmill...I'm not over the cold that tortured me last weekend (part of the pizzapittagyrosicecream eating was due to me feeling miserable sneezing instead of sunbathing). But I feel determined!
 
Here. Fullstop. Too long a post again!

Here I am, on a Monday morning, all determined. This is what a weekend with bad food will do to you. Pizza (pizza?! I don't even really like pizza!!!), pita gyros, and lotsa ice cream will do this to you! It will make you wake up on Monday, call hubby and ask him where he has hidden the scales, get on, thank god for a 400 gr. gain, and get you all determined for a 21 day challenge.
 
You see, on August 8 we are leaving for holidays. Our trully longed for and very deserved holidays. 22 days in the sun with nothing both of us HAVE to do. 8 days with friends and 14 days just the two of us. Bliss I tell you!
 
So I have decided I need to focus into some serious weigh loss these next three weeks before we leave for holidays. I am going to see my holistic med this evening and ask him for a 3 week detox. He has given me one back in March and I resulted in loosing lotsa kilos in 3 weeks.
 
I am aiming for 5 kilos   this time. I don't think its not feasible. It's less than two kilos a week. Easy peasy (sp?)
 
So this mornign I had 2 peaches for breakfast. And I grilled zucchinis and portobello mushrooms for lunch. And I will have grilled veggies with yogurt for dinner. And after he gives me my diet for the 3 weeks I will post it here and you will have to be bored with daily food and daily gr. lost for the next 21 days. And you can wish me luck, cos usually his detox diets are tougher than tough!
 
I can post my exercise routine for the next 21 days too!
 
I will have to spend at least 40 mins in the treadmill every morning. And do a walk every evening on my way home from work. I will average 10 km a day.
 
I  feel determined. I think I have had enough fun lately with maintaining mainly. Having a good week and then have it ruined. The good thing is that I have maintained. So now I learned how to do this, perhaps it is time for some loosing, don't you think?
 
Anyone else up for a good 21 days of loosing?

Today I wear a white tank top. And today it is a normal Wednesday. I mean, I came to the office this morning, had one appointment at noon, have spent my lunch break with my assistant gossiping over girly magazines, then I have my therapy session at 8 pm, and since my husband is not coming home tonight due to a work thing, I will meet my two best male friends and go out for dinner with them.

See? A normal Wednesday as I said. Not a Wednesday I have off work, lingering all day at home, tending to my plants, watching movies, etc.

It is a normal Wednesday and I wear a white tank top! In public! Outside from home!

And guess what!

People were not pointing at me in the street screaming "Oh my god look at her arms!!!"

N., my assistant, said to me: I don't understand why I have never saw you on a tank top before. You look like a teenager on it!

I did not think she is trying to sneak her way into a higher paycheck when she said this.

You think Im crazy for saying all this, don't you? You see, I have never wore a tank top before, but in the safety of my house. Never ever in public. Never ever without a jacket. Never ever without being thin.

See, my arms are a big issue for me. I have always hated them. They are not nice and toned. They have stretch marks. They are big.

But the last days I spend some time with them. I think of them. I talk to them. I spend more time moisturising them. To give you an idea of how far I have gone, I admired their tan this morning. And it was then that I thought of something:

The parts of my body that need the most work, are the parts of my body I used to hate. Arms fall under this category. But hating them, neglecting them, denying them even will never solve their problem. As a matter of fact I was thinking that the more I deny them the more of a problem they become. So I decided to acknowledge their existence and show them to the world.

So spending my day on a tank top so far has taught me this: I am the worst, more strict judge for myself. Perhaps I should loosen up a little and treat myself like I treat other people.

And oh! Oh please, do not worry. I will not wear a mini skirt next!

You see, it is that simple. (Actually it will be that simple if "rings" is the right english to use...do you call the small parts a chain consists of rings?!?)

If I wake up in the morning, and do my 40 mins in the treadmill, I am hungry afterwards, so eating breakfast is not something I HAVE to do, but something I enjoy.

If I eat my breakfast, then I get in a oh so healthy mood, therefore I prepare a healthy lunch to take with me to work.

If i eat a healthy lunch at work, I feel great, and I get all creative in my mind, usually coming up with a new combination of healthy ingredients that will find their way to my cooking pot for dinner.

If I eat a good and healthy dinner, I feel content but not full or sick, so our evening is always better.

If I do my 40 mins in the treadmill in the morning, by 11.30 I am ready to go to bed.

If I sleep before midnight, I am all refreshed in the morning, and doing my 40 mins in the treadmill seems like a piece of cake, therefore I do 20 mins more.

If I do 20 mins more of exercise in the morning, I am a lot more hyper during the day, and a lot more focused, since exercising looses my tension and stress from all the crisis I have at work, therefore I have a better working day. Plus I get tired earlier in the evening, and we go to bed at 11, which gives me extra time for cuddles and sleep.

If I have a good working day, I have a far better evening at home because I do not have crisis occupy my mind *wink*

If I have a great mood in the evening, that means I am not bored or stressed therefore my mind doesnt drift away to chocolate icecream.

If I dont think of chocolate icecream I dont eat chocolate icecream.

If I dont eat chocolate icecream, I do not wake up full of guilt in the morning, therefore my 60 mins in the treadmill is something I am so looking forward to.

It's so damn simple. Just keep all the rings together. You can't fail with this trick!

P.S. I have been that good the last 6 days! And I had my husband hide the scales too! I will weigh in on August 6, last working Friday before H O L I D A Y S ! ! !

...to all. I am here to report that yesterday and the day before had been two very good days eating wise. Both nights I wanted chocolate icecream (my husband had gotten some for himself) and both nights I ate water melon instead. I had fruits in the blender for breakfast and big fruitsalads for lunch. And for dinner on Wednesday I had a salad with boiled potatoes, beetroots, garlic, parsley, basil, and fresh oreganon. Yesterday dinner consisted of ...oh...I can give ya the recipe cos it was good!

K...boil big chuncks of beef
when they are almost done, add zucchinis, and lotsa peppers, red, green, yellow, and onions. Add some tomato juice and let it simmer till the sauce is thick. Very tasty and with no added fat (oil or butter). So this has been my food for the last 2 days.

No treadmill still. My back is bad this time. It usually hurts a little when I get my period, but this time has been really bad.

I managed a walk yesterday for an hour though on my way home from work. It was hot but very windy so I decided to take the metro instead of taxi and walk the remaining distance to our home, about 6 km.

I don't feel great, I don't feel like I am on top of my weight loss all over again, not I feel so super extra motivated again. But I smile to myself every day I wake up for the day before. It is a start I think.

My gyno asked me to run some blood tests to check my thyroid. I had it checked last year and it was ok, but the last few months my cyrcle is getting smaller. I had a 27 - 28 cyrcle and now it is 24 to 25. I am panicking although he tells me not to worry. I am so afraid something will go wrong and I won't be able to have children.

Oh I hate this feeling, sort of out of breath when I think of this...

It is 11 in the morning and I am still at home, sipping coffee with lotsa icecubes too! I woke up at 10.15. I slept at 11 last night. I had such a great sleep. I am not feeling on top of the world, but I feel human again!

I have spent the last 40 minutes reading journals and blogs. And I have to thank you all ladies (and gent!). Thank you Dietgirl, thank you Kimba, thank you Yvonne, thank you Lynn, thank you Amanda, thank you Denise, thank you Angel, thank you Jo, thank you Metamorpheus, thank you Daze, thank you Lynne, thank you thank you!

Part of me is still in a low state. I had a marathon in therapy last weekend. I have not talked about it yet. And I will not talk about it now either, since I don't have the time. It is either writting about it all, or getting in the treadmill, making lunch, showering and getting to work. I took this morning off and I have to be there at 1 for my first appointment. I prefer to get back to the treadmill.

I will tell you what a marathon is. I take private sessions in therapy. But every three months we do a marathon. This is a group of 10 people and 2 therapists. We meet at 10 am and work till 8 in the evening on Saturday and Sunday. It is very intense work and utterly revealing all the time. We always have a topic. This weekend it was all about The Body. I promise to tell you all about it soon.

Today I feel I need to work towards getting back. And I feel like I can try.

I stayed with my sadness long enough and realised it. It;s tricky you know. When you feel its almost all worked out and resolved, sneaky bastards reappear. The point is though, that the sneaky bastards expect to find a good easy vicitm to work their tricks at. Well guess what! I aint this person anymore!

Cheers for a great day to begin (even at this late hour :)

I do not feel well. If I am to be precise, I feel confused, angry, tired, and somehow disappointed.

I am using my brain too much again. And my body always looses the battle you know.

I am rationalising too much. I am giving myself too many excuses. I work out and I feel I'm doing the right thing. I eat so so and feel I am doing something. But I weigh 90 kilos and doing something that leads to maintaining is not good anymore.

And I think a lot. I think of WW and I realise that if I go there, it will only be for the weigh in. Cos the leaders here in Athens, at least the ones I have come across, are nothing like the motivational descriptions I have read online. And I can't spare the money for just the weigh in. Which makes me think that I don't just need discipline. I need someone to whom I have to be good. And that makes me angry.

Because being good to myself should be enough you know.

I know I have my period and I know my feelings are intensified cos of this. I also know I had my period early again and this makes me worry about my body. And perhaps this is the reason I am mildly overeacting.

But the bottomline is that I am having no breakfast. I have a healthy lunch. And I have a not so healthy dinner, or equally bad, too much of a healthy dinner.

Perhaps I need some rest too. Because I have been working way too much again, and sleeping way too little with the footy celebrations and the wedding and christening the last 15 days.

I definitely need to clear my head.

Have you heard??? Oh you must have!!! The outsiders won the euro cup!!! Oh you cannot imagine the excitement in Athens!!! You cannot imagine the excitement in Greece!!! My office is a couple of kilometers away from the Panathenian Stadium, where in 2 hours the champs will be lifting the cup for us all, and it is packed already!!!!

Right. I probably wrote this about an hour ago...or maybe more! But an evil phone call got me working again.

And now I got to go see the team lift the cup!!!!

I'm so overly excited!!!!

Do you guys ever read Susan Miller’s site? The www.astrologyzone.com? Well, when I feel like toying with astrology, this is the one and only site I visit. She has proven to be accurate for lill’ aquarius like meself and she always have a very sweet way of writing.

Truth is I have slept 4 hours only last night. Or this morning I should say to be precise. Like hundreds of thousands Greeks last midnight, my husband and I joined the crowd and went downtown to celebrate Greece being in the final of Euro 2004. We were back home at 6 am and I slept till 10 this morning. I woke up super tired and only managed 13 minutes in the treadmill before collapsing.

But like yesterday, I feel a tad bloated. Surely it is one week before my period is due. And perhaps this can be the reason for my moodiness, but it definitely is not the reason for my bloatedeness (does this word exists?). When I was doing this strict thing the holistic med gave to me back in March and April and middle of May, all 3 periods I had during these months did not make me bloated. My body did not retain water during that time. I am convinced that we women retain water during our periods when we eat crap. And by crap I do not mean fattening things only. I also mean bad quality foods, full of chemicals and stuff.

Anyway, I have resulted I am bloated because exercise only is not enough. And because lately I eat bad quality foods. And my body is retaining water to cope with the crap.

So to cheer myself up this morning when I got to work – and give some time to my brain to wake up so I could actually function – I made a coffee and went to check my monthly forecast in Susan’s. She said that this full moon tonight is bad bad bad! So I decided I am bloated because of the Moon! Since it makes us feel worn out and miserable. BUT she also said:

“This month you have an ideal chart for losing weight, for Saturn will give you a craving for routine, as well as a certain level of self-discipline that will help you achieve impressive results. “


Oh how I need some discipline!!! I don’t seem to find it though. I thought that if I worked my arse off for an hour in the treadmill in the morning, I would not want to destroy all this effort by having ice cream in the evening. Truth is that in the beginning it worked exactly like I had imagined. But it evolved to being an excuse for not eating right. The “I’ll work an extra fifteen minute and burn this” scheme doesn’t work anymore. I got on the scales this morning and have gained 500 grms again. Seem to be loosing and gaining the same couple of kilos for the whole of June.

I am thinking of WW. The terror of Ms. Barbara, the weigh in lady could be something that would make me be good. I feel if I manage to be good for a week, then I will be good for a month. And I mean Good GOOD not semigood like I am now.

But then, WW???

Oh I am so bad with decisions! I think now I must return to work. Or else I’ll never leave here!

Silly I know. But last time Greece played in Euro I posted before watching the game and this is what I am going to do now too!

It will be a short post though because I am so busy at work this week that I barely have time to breath!

I have not eaten very well lately. Monday was our wedding anniversary and we had our two best friends over. I went crazy when I got home and decided to really cook. First, main, salads, deserts! Yeap...plural. I made 3 different kinds of deserts, a genuine Jamie Oliver's chocolate tiramisu, a kinda light thing with jello, fruits and yogurt, and a classic greek choco thingy with biscuits, butter (lotsa butter), eggs, cocoa, cognac, sugar. Veeeeeeeeeery decadent I promise you. Take 400 grms of butter, leave them in room temp, them mix it with 200 grms of cocoa, 3 eggs, sugar, cognac, and break a whole box of petit beurre biscuits in small pieces, put it in the mixture , put the whole thing in alluminum foil, then in the freeze and here! D I S A S T E R !!!!
Needless to say noone ate the jello - yogurt thingy! So I ate like a pig on Monday (we ALL ate like pigs!!!) and then Tuesday I had nothing all day but coffees and then for dinner I had a piece of that tiramisu. Yesterday I had a salad for lunch and a sald for dinner but there was too much feta cheese and olive oil involved.

Today has been better so far, but with the footy tonight...

I can't seem to be able to eat breakfast after excersise. I just don't want anything but water!

Perhaps I am not eating well because I am so mad busy with work and the preparations for my nephew's christening this saturday that I have not done any food shopping for me. We just eat what is still in the freeze and I just buy a few fruits and veggies on my way back from work.


At least I work out more and more. I do 35 to 50 mins in the morning and 25 to 35 mins early in the evening. So I have not shown a gain, but this is not good. I have lost so little during June.

I need to concentrate and decide if I go on my own or join WW for a month to boost things up. We will be leaving for our summer holidays in August 6 and will be back on the 29, so if I really make the effort I can loose 4 to 6 kilos by then.

Why I am not determined?

Life is so busy and then so fun and I am falling of the wagon me thinks.

(Can you tell Im typing so super fast before I got to go and still want to post? I'm sure this will be full of typos!!!)

Cheers for now!!! Happy July to all!!! Athens is getting hotter and hotter :)