Eight years ago, at that time, I was getting a professional french manicure. My hair was in rollers, I was in a gorgeous brand new white silk dressing gown, my girlfriends were with me, my family was there with me, the phone was constantly ringing, flowers were arriving all the time. I was avoiding my parents' eyes, because I was not allowed to get teary, and I was trying to persuade my dog to stay out of my bedroom because he was crazy (as he still is) and he was not allowed to touch my dress.
June 28, 1997.
Our wedding day.
So we are celebrating our wedding anniversary today. The completion of the 8th year we have been spouces. Which is actually the 16th year since the first time we got together. Surely I was mad and was leaving him and returning and leaving him again to simply return yet again. It both feels like yesterday and yet like forever.I love my husband. Really genuinely love him. He is a rare man. One of the few left if I may say so. He has a concrete set of ethics of his own. He is sincere. He has a forgiving soul. He knows how to give a second chance (and a third and a forth...). He is polite. He has respect. He stands in awe in front of nature. He never breaks a promise and yet rarely gives one. He honours his word. He has a heart of gold. And the body of a god ;o).
There was a time, not too far ago, where I thought that Angelos was too good for me.This is not true. I think we are a perfect match. He is logical when I am being irrational. He is patient when I am being impatient. He is sober when I am panicking. He is acceptive when I am being inventive. He is stable when I am experimenting. He brings me down to earth and allows me to take him to the clouds. He knows how to say no to me and lets me persuade him when he feels I am right. He makes me stop smoking pot and yet share an occasional joint with me. He likes to eat the breast of the chicken, I like to eat the legs. He loves his fruit a bit unripe, I eat my fruit over-ripe. No don't shake your head! There is never fruit thrown away in our home!!!
We went though our share of hard times in our marriage. Back then, as I already said, I thought Angelos deserved better than me. At the same time I believed I was too good and deserved better than him. Because this sounds weird, I want to clear it out. I thought that Angelos was the perfect family man. And that he deserved a woman who wanted a family, children, stability, and to be worshiped by her husband and him only. And I was thinking that there are too many orange trees to get just one orange for the rest of my life. I was a thinking of all the things he was not, like naughty, or spontaneous, or ready to spend the money saved for our insurance on a luxurious weekend in Sifnos.
You know, it was really my fault. When I was thinking about the things he was not, I was missing a point. A very serious, very crucial point. I was so self centered, that I did not allow him to show me his potential. I did not trust him to let him surprise me.
I have learnt something and I want to share it with you. Do not waste your time thinking what your partner is not. Use your time to think about the things you are not letting them show you. This saved my marriage. And it really saved my life.I could go on forever about him you know. But I will spare you more mussy stuff.
Today is a long day for me. I am at work since 10 am, I have an appointment at 5.30, a therapy session at 8.00, and he is picking me afterwards and he is taking me out on a date to celebrate. Do you know what I am wearing? A very fitted white/red plaid shirt that I bought last year and dreamed of fitting into, a white skirt, and red high heeled mules. Very 60's I tell you. Angelos will like this so much!!! And yes, I am sitting in my desk at work right now, with rollers in my hair. A working girl got to do silly things when she leaves home at 9.30 am and has a date with her man at 9.30 pm and no chance to return home!
And this morning I woke up and got on the scales all impatient. Because I was a model dieter all weekend and was feeling really proud and eager to get my reward.
Actually, on Sunday evening I had Monday's post in my head, and come Monday I had no 10 minutes free at work to write it. But I will tell you very quickly what it was about, because all of you my darlings were on my mind during the weekend.Saturday night we had 2 friends over. We would eat dinner in the balcony and play cards, a game we play in couples. Our friends need to loose no weight. And Angelos seriously needs to gain a couple of kilos. And I need to loose 17.5. Oh I didn't tell you! I lost 1.5 kg this week ;o)
So I grilled pieces of sword fish with tomato, onions, and peppers on a skillet, octupus boiled in vinegar and wine, and I made a huge seasonal salad. Everyone loved it, I ate well. And then we all splurged in summer fruits: apricots, cherries, melon, water melon, peaches, nectarines.And on Sunday we did go to the beach. And my swim suit from last year is too big. And I felt comfortable wearing it. And I was happy because I was feeling alive and joyous after quite a long time! Don't get mistaken and think I look good in that swiming suit. I look awful really. But, my husband and my friends were telling me I look great. And I knew what they meant, because I felt great too: I looked so connected and appreciative of this body of mine, which I have put through so much and yet it is still here to support me and take me through this wonderful journey that is called life, that cellulite and flab and strechmarks be damned! Tis the only body I have you know. Instead of dreaming about what it used to be and all the "what if's...if I had not..." I am loving it and feeling proud of it and am determined to honour it and use it to its total potential!!!!
Right...gotta go back to work. Long post again, but I have missed talking to you!!!!
I found a very badly scanned photo of that day here in my pc at work. And because you are my friends, I am sharing it with you. I really feel you as my friends you know. You shauna and you Kimba and you Cat and you Tracy and you Denise and You and You and All of you. Angelos feels you are my friends too you know. He asks about you: "How is Shauna? How is Kimba? Will we meet Cat next time in Amsterdam? Do you feel sorry you did not know Denise when we were in San Diego so you could have a latte with her" etc...
I am really emotional today, because I am happy to celebrate our anniversary, because I am happy to weigh 86.5, because it is summer and my face is a tad sunburnt, because I am alive and I have been given the gift of life, the gift of love and the gift of friendship.
Thank you all for hugging me you know. Because your support and sweetness surely feel like hugs to me!
Height: 1.68 cm
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs