I thought about it a lot last night. I dare say I thought about it long and deep. I came to various conclusions. First, dilemmas make us who we are in a way. Because our choices show who we are. From the t-shirt we wear, to the partner we choose to spend our lives with, to the professional path we decide on walking at,to the ripe tomatoes we pick at the farmers' market, to the colour of our hair, it all determines and all is determined by one thing: who we are.
Second, for me, as a woman who works towards loosing weight, dilemmas have a certain taste. "Should I eat this ice-cream or eat some melon instead?" "Should I add some grated Parmesan in my pasta or let the fresh tomato sauce conquer my taste buds?"
You see, I am waiting for my period. I am not PMSing severely this time, but I have huge
ice cream craves.
Last night, I wanted one so badly. It was funny, because I hadn't realised it till my husband burst into a loud laughter. We were watching a debate in television about the Euro Elections and each and every break had icecream commercials. I was moaning harder and harder the more of them came. So he asked me if I wanted him to go get me some ice cream. My wise man is oh so nice and sweet the few days before my period...lol
I told him I want to think about it for a few minutes. So I got up and went to my study, sat down and thought about it. My dilemma: To have an icecream or to not have an icecream.
The sensational taste of bitter chocolate ice cream attacked my taste buds. God I wanted it so bad. I could imagine its texture, smooth, melting inside my mouth, the coolness of it as it would slip down my throat. And suddenly, I had another taste fantasy!
Salty liquid on my dry mouth. Yes. The taste of my sweat as I'm trying to surpass myself on the treadmill. The taste of sweat on my dry mouth, dry from the extra effort of the last extra 5 minutes on a higher incline.
My dilemma tasted salty yesterday.
Today, I weighed in. I am 89.8 kilos. I lost 1.5 kilo since June 1st.
This morning, while on the treadmill, I had a salty taste in my mouth again. Not the sweaty one just. The happy tear extra salty one.
Cheers for now. I got to go back to working because I will leave early to go to the organic farmers market :o)