The Impatient Body feels awful still.

The Impatient Body is mad at me for keeping it full of fat. The Impatient Body is not my friend now. It is making me unhappy. It is keeping me away from people. My husband tries everything and I simply do not feel like feeling better. He keeps on telling me what a hard and wonderful job I have done. How changed I am. He even made me wear this pants that fell off totally to make me visualize my loss. Nothing worked. Nothing works. All I can see is myself in that dressing room trying swimming suits. And the way I looked 5 years ago, when I had lost the weight, and before I regain it all back. Plus.

And I am afraid now. I am afraid I will loose it again just to gain it back.

I know I will get better. I just need to get in close contact with all this sadness now. Perhaps this is how I will work things out. Once and for good!