I woke up this morning, made my coffee, sat on my desk, and got ready to read blogs. I was feeling nervous because I knew I had only 40 minutes to do my morning leisure. I had to be on the treadmill for the 1st workout of the 3rd week of the Cto5K program. And I was scared shitless. Run for 3 minutes straight? How could this be possible?
But my lungs are getting better my darlings. I could actually handle the 3 minutes run without the burning feeling in my lungs. Actually the burning feeling moved a whole way down. My.Poor.Shins!!! They ached so much for the last 2 mins of each 3 mins period. But I did it and you have no idea how proud and wonderful I feel! I was huffing and puffing and smilling at the same time for the entire duration of the wotkout.
Angelos "inspected" my work out during the weekend. He gave me a few tips (he runs 10 k 4 times a week) that were really helpful and made today a lot more doable. See, I am a fast walker. When I walk in the treadmill I alternate the speed between 6.2 to 6.7 kph. So I assumed that I should run at at least 1 kph higher, so the second week of the program I walked at 6.2 and run at 7.2. He suggested to take a slower speed and take smaller steps too. Today I kept the speed constant at 6.3 kph. and took smaller steps, and the run was better to handle.
I am really psyched with this. Honestly, when I did the first workout, I felt a certainty inside me that I will give up soon. Now I plan my week to suit my 3 workouts in the mornings. We actually made a pledge to each other with my husband last night that we will go for one workout together while in London the first week of February. I will be in the 5th week by then! Run 5 whole minutes. !!!! I am not really seeing myself as a future runner yet. But to complete this program will probably be the greatest physical challenge and achievement in my life.
So whats about the title huh? Tis what I did last night. I binged! I really really binged! But listen to the whole story, because I think it is interesting. I had a banana for breakfast. Then I had 200g of cottage with 4 carrots and an apple for lunch. I ate 2 oranges and another apple as snacks during the day. In my book of WW points those are 9 points. So I was back home with dinner cooked late on Sunday evening. Fish soup, boiled fish, potaotes, and carrots in the broth, steamed brocolli and cauliflower too. Noooooooooot appealing at all! I had this insatiable feeling of true hunger, I wanted to eat a lot and I wanted to eat something I like, not something that takes an effort to chew and swallow!
I had 11 points left for the day. Here is how I used them. I took a big salad bowl. Put big quantities of brocolli and cauliflower in it. Took one big potato (2 points) and 4 carrots and added them to the bowl. Then took 180g of fish (3 points) and added it there. Then took the shaker, put 2 Tsp of mustard, the juice of one lemon, 4 tsp of olive oil (4 more points) beat the whole thing up, grated a good quantity of garlic pepper on top, and devoured the whole HUGE bowl in 10 minutes! Then I spent the rest of my points in sugarless dry pinneapple and papaya.
One can say that this was a success because I did not go over my points, I ate wholesomy for the day, and I did not eat junk. No no no. It was a good strategy I must admit, but it was a binge. I had a hard day, I was very stressed, and still am for tomorrow's trip, and I did go back to my coping mechanism of eating to soothe. If I was not thinking about the workout the next morning, and how yucky and heavy I would feel, I would have thrown the good fish and veggies in the carbbage, would have told angelos that it got rotten, and would have order the new sausage crust pizza from Pizza Hat. Sausage crust pizza. What do these people have in mind?!?!?!
The truth is however that I am semi-pleased with myself. I need to turn to other things. I tried to persuade myself to go take a long bubble bath isntead. But no. I did not. I tried to persuade myself to pack my bag for the trip tomorrow (I'm leaving for 2 days up north for work) decide what clothes to take for the meetings, sort my papers etc so I won't have to do it today after therapy at 10 in the evening. But no. I did not. Instead I spent half an hour trying to figure out how to transform a healthy meal to something that would seem rich and would also be a huge portion. I still have so much to learn...
Have I told you we are not going to Amsterdam this year? Well, we planned it actually, even booked the tickets. But I was not excited like last year. So when the option to go to London instead came, I took it. But I still booked tickets from London to Amsterdam and back for a daily shopping spree. But I was not too hot about it. I had second thoughts all the time. I even took my calculator out and calculated the expense to go there (taxi to train station ...train ticket to Gatwic airport...plane to Amsterdam...train downtown....and back) and did some other math to prove to Angelos that the money we will "save" by shopping in the amazing sales in Amsterdam will be the money we will spend on travelling there, so it was no use. (Me...doing economical budgets that prove a shopping spree wrong?!?!?!). I used other excuses too, like we will arrive in London late in the evening and then we have to leave the next day for Amsterdam at 6.50am, that means sleeping only for 3 hrs after the flight to London and then have another flight and oh!we will be back at 10 in the evening and then we will be totally exhausted and won't have energy to enjoy London and bla bla bla and more bla bla bla.
Angelos asked me out of the blue yesterday why I do not want to go to Amsterdam. I replied with all my perfect reasoning about money and time and exhaustion etc. He smiled and asked again..."yes I know, but why you DO NOT want to go"?
Now let me brag about how smart my huisband is and how well he knows me :)
Ok...I did ;)
All this time I had not realised I did not want to go to Amsterdam. Not with the zest I had last year. Amsterdam is my love. I will miss it this year. But I could not justify myself to go. Last year I saw a shop with very unique styles. I promised myself I will shop there next year should I have lost at least another 10 kilos. I have not lost them. So if I went, I would shop till I dropped for sure. Many many clothes in a size I do not want to maintain. So what's the use? I will shop a bit in my beloved H&M in London and that's it more or less. London will be a trip for pleasure and not shopping. And my reward this year will be to meet my hero! Yes ladies, you may turn green because I will spend the whole 4th of February with this legend