10.15 pm and I was sleeping in the couch already last night. No wonder I have been up since 7 am! And I mean really up! It was one of these rare occasions that I felt awake the moment I opened my eyes. Angelos tried to talk me to get back to sleep as he was leaving for work, but it was not possible, so I got up, wearing my beautiful fuchsia pj's, put on my running shoes, hit the treadmill and did the third Cto5K second week workout! I finished the second week! Then I made a double espresso to last my blogging, and I have spent almost 2.5 hours reading blogs, commenting, and now I'm posting too! Then...it will be grocerry shopping, then a visit to my brother's shop to stock on fish for the week (I am going insane with the chickens and the avian flu) and back here to cook lunch and nap. We have no plans for the night and I can tell you that I'm dreaming of a girly movie with a nice fire and a good meal for dinner!

Work started getting insane again. We are organising a huge @rts market in June. Our proposal was approved on Tuesday and we been running ever since. I am excited. Give me an interesting production to plan and implement, and I can deal with all the other administrative and unfair shit anytime. So I have to fly up north to Thessalonica on wednesday to look at some venues, and then I'll fly back on Thursday. First class, on company's expenses...gotta love a few treats now and then...

Eating well sustained me emotionally this week. Things at work were tensed, busy, critical at some point. Eating my carrots, my walnuts, my oranges and my apples during the day gave me a weird sense of satisfaction. I am counting points at the moment, mainly in an attempt to watch my portions, and it is going well.

I know I should weigh in tomorrow, since I weighed in last sunday with the full 89.3 kg but I felt like getting on the scales this morning and I am glad i did. Because seeing a good loss of 1.3 kilos for the week is a way to keep me more on track the weekend. I actually feel like writting down some things about this week:

Current Weight: 88.00 kilos
Loss this week: 1.3 kilos

What brought this loss

• I drunk an average of 5 lts of water daily. I buy 1.5 lt bottles. Some days I had 3, some days I had 4. At work. All of them. And I usually drink about a lt of water at home, half of it when I wake up, and half of it while I am cooking.
• I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables. I had fruit breakies every day. Either apples, or freshly squeezed orange and tangerine juice. Then my lunch was 8 walnut halves with apples and oranges. I had some salad for snack too. A small bowl that contains about a cup and a half of salad: lettuce, white and purple cabbage, fresh mint, parsley, dill, grated carrot, arugula. No dressing. With so many herbs you do not need any other flavour really. It was either that or carrots.
• I went up and down hundrends of stairs every day. My office is on the second floor. My bosse's office is on the 5th. The president's office on the 6th. I must have gone up and down at least 30 times a day. Without counting my workout, I have done not less than 7.000 steps a day at work. Most of them on stairs. Intentionally :)
• No matter what time I got back from work each day - and never it was before 9 in the evening - I took the time to cook for me. Well for both of us actually, but the truth was tha the food was planned and prepared for me. We ate really lush meals each day, none of them being more than 1o points with dessert. Well, dessert was always dry fruits, but still, you got to count your figs and pineapple too! We ate pasta with prawns, we ate wraps with beef stripes, salad, and sweet chilly sauce, we ate lentil soup, we ate huge portobello mushrooms stuffed with lean beef mince and bulgur, and last night we ate wholewheat pasta with garlic, parsley, mustard and wine sauce.

Honestly, my mind races with ideas of strict dieting, like the detox my holistic med has given me, but I am not going there.I have to break the all or nothing habbit. This is why I am spending half my points on fruits and walnuts daily. Because honestly, I can go all day without food, just water, coffee and smokes, so I can have all my points on one meal! I have done this a lot, and it has made me maintain and lose weight too. But this is not good and I must find the balance. I must learn to eat slower - I inhale my food Im afraid - so to be satisfied with smaller portions.

Generally...I feel a lot better. Which is not good yet, but I have hope and faith. I forget to do my therapy execises and this means I'm still resisting. I mean...how can I forget? I remember about them when Im well in bed ready to sleep, and I get up and do them. They are breathing exercises with certain visualisations and resistance exercises, like you put your leg next to the wall with your thigh touching the wall and you push till the point that you realise how strong your thigh is. Beautiful. But my boss - who leaves tomorrow for 10 days for some conferences in america - wanted me to fly to thessalonica on tuesday. I said no. She said no is not an option. I said tuesday is not an option because i have a scheduled appointment with a doctor in the evening I cannot postpone or cancel. I did not want to tell her its therapy cos she would start her long speech that strong women dont need help. I have heard this speech countless times in the past. I feel good for not using the excuse of work to cancel my session. I was tempted me the little chicken ;)

The anxiety has given its place to a calmness. A peculiar kind of calmness. Like when you are looking forward to something and you are eager and cant really wait, but realise that this is at least a month away, so you stay patiently wait instead of frantically wait? If this made any sense to you, then you have an idea of what I am talking about...lol

I am going to get ready and go out now. Angelos is working so I am going to do all the things we usually do together on saturdays by myself. I kind of like it today. Enjoy your weekend, weekends are 2 precious days you know!