Thursday, November 11, 2004
Not good news
I must get used to the idea that my mom has cancer. The results of the biopsy will come out early next week. We all pray and hope that her muscular tissue will remain unaffected. This means she will have to go to yet another round of chemo. During these 10 weeks from her first biopsy, another tiny tumour managed to form in her cyst besides the chemo treatment. The doctor said that he did not want this to have happened. None of us had wanted this.
She is not feeling very positive right now. Honestly, I am all gloomy and blue too. I am trying to tell myself that this is life, that things happen, and yet life manages to go on, that I will not feel that devastated for ever, that there is always a sunshine to come, and all this, but I lack the vigoureness to persuade myself.
I get annoyed by laughs and small talk between the girls in the office. I get annoyed with so many things. My body is tensed and numb at the same time. I have no brain for work and yet I am pretending I am doing serious work here, so I keep my door closed.
This morning I got on the scales, in an attempt to do things as normal, and I have lost a kilo since yesterday. Sadness can prove to be a weight loss tool huh? And today is the grand opening of the music hall that my diva singer sings, and have to go home after work, and get dressed and do my hair and make up in all glam. I have not a clue how I am going to do this.
She is not feeling very positive right now. Honestly, I am all gloomy and blue too. I am trying to tell myself that this is life, that things happen, and yet life manages to go on, that I will not feel that devastated for ever, that there is always a sunshine to come, and all this, but I lack the vigoureness to persuade myself.
I get annoyed by laughs and small talk between the girls in the office. I get annoyed with so many things. My body is tensed and numb at the same time. I have no brain for work and yet I am pretending I am doing serious work here, so I keep my door closed.
This morning I got on the scales, in an attempt to do things as normal, and I have lost a kilo since yesterday. Sadness can prove to be a weight loss tool huh? And today is the grand opening of the music hall that my diva singer sings, and have to go home after work, and get dressed and do my hair and make up in all glam. I have not a clue how I am going to do this.
Posted by Argy at 1:12 pm
About Me
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.
Stats
Age: 37
Height: 1.68 cm
SW: 130kg/286lbs
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs
Left: 17kg/37.4lbs
Previous Posts
- Abolish the "Gonna Club"
- Five bottles of water
- Still game...
- A recipe for you
- November
- Saturday's Party
- How good is an easy way out?
- Quickie
- Determined
- Numbers Madness
Links
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Denise
Kate
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Congratulations on the weight loss. But, more importantly, I really hope things are OK for your mom. You'll be in my prayers.
1:47 pm
i'm sorry argy... be thinking of you both.. huuuuuuuuuggggggggs!
4:01 pm
Ah, dear lovely Argy. What can we say except that we are here to listen to your sorrows and understand. This period you are going through is one of the hardest things life will ever bring us - sickness of our parents or children. This puts into perspective every other part of our lives and life after illness will never be the same. You have a great love of everything around you so this will only intensify this and show you what is not important (work and stress).
Just know that we are here to help in any way we can, if only to read your posts and listen to your sadness.
Lynda - scottygirl
11:54 pm
I know that it doesn't help, but I remember feeling much the same way you are when my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer a few years ago. I kept thinking, "I'm too young for this" and "she can't go, what will I do without her", and I wanted to scream and cry but I had to be strong for her. Everyone's different, but my mom - through some miracle - made it through the surgery with flying colors and has been clean (knocking on wood!) since then. Keep strong, lean on friends and loved ones, and, if you are spiritual at all, lean on that, too.
3:45 am
Argy, I so know where you are coming from with that post after watching my father battle cancer a couple of years ago. Make the most of the time you have with your mum and treasure all the memories. My prayers go out to you and the whole family in the hope that she may be ok. As the others have said - let your feelings out etc in your journal as that is what a journal is for. We are ALL here for you.... Take care and super big hugs.
Karen (www.geocities.com/cuddly_nz_gal)
6:32 am
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