I must get used to the idea that my mom has cancer. The results of the biopsy will come out early next week. We all pray and hope that her muscular tissue will remain unaffected. This means she will have to go to yet another round of chemo. During these 10 weeks from her first biopsy, another tiny tumour managed to form in her cyst besides the chemo treatment. The doctor said that he did not want this to have happened. None of us had wanted this.
She is not feeling very positive right now. Honestly, I am all gloomy and blue too. I am trying to tell myself that this is life, that things happen, and yet life manages to go on, that I will not feel that devastated for ever, that there is always a sunshine to come, and all this, but I lack the vigoureness to persuade myself.
I get annoyed by laughs and small talk between the girls in the office. I get annoyed with so many things. My body is tensed and numb at the same time. I have no brain for work and yet I am pretending I am doing serious work here, so I keep my door closed.
This morning I got on the scales, in an attempt to do things as normal, and I have lost a kilo since yesterday. Sadness can prove to be a weight loss tool huh? And today is the grand opening of the music hall that my diva singer sings, and have to go home after work, and get dressed and do my hair and make up in all glam. I have not a clue how I am going to do this.