It has been a while again. Work got too unreal the last week I'm afraid. Working till 10 in the evening every day except Tuesday (I left at 8 cos I had my therapy session) and Friday (I left at 11.30!!!). There was an extra reason for the long hours this week.I was determined not to work on Saturday. Angelos worked super late all week days this week too, in order to not work on Saturday either. We planned a shopping spree on Saturday, a small compensation for our cancelled trip to London.

I had to give the estimated budget of our big project to my boss on Saturday morning.So I emailed it to her on Friday night. Before I left home on Saturday I called her but she had not seen it yet. By the time we were outside the parking lot of the first shopping centre we had planned to visit, my mobile rung, it was her, and she needed me to revise the budget. I was only 10 mins away from the office, she was there already, so off I went.

I left the office at 2.3o in the afternoon. Met Angelos who was window shopping till then, went to Camper so he got his shoes, and although we went to a couple of women shops, I felt like buying nothing. So off to IKEA we went, for canddles and napkins and silly stuff. We left IKEA at 5.30, unfortunately with two bags of IKEA sour cream chips (They are better than KETTLE chips!), two packs of smoked salmon, and linconberry marmalade.

We were back home at 6.30, and we ate a very late lunch, watched a bit of a DVD and felt like a nap. So we decided to nap for an hour or so. HA! Angelos woke up at 12.30 and I got up at 1 am!!! What did we do? We pretended it was 9 in the evening! Angelos built a fire, I went to the kitchen to cook dinner.

I made a big salad with mixed greens: lettuce, rocket, baby spinach, dill and shallots. Then, I made a nice dressing with olive oil and lemon juice, and cut the salmon in big pieces and put them in the salad too. We had this with one bag of chips shared between us. We played scrabble, we watched two episodes of "Without a Trace", and went to bed at 6 am!

We woke up at noon on Sunday. Each went to their bathrooms, and spend an hour showering. Sofia called right on time, and we met them for coffee. Two iced espressos later, we decided to go for lunch. We went to a small fish tavern near the beach, sat right next to the glass windows so we were looking at the sea with all its glamorous waves (very cold and windy on sunday here) and ate too much...lol All kinds of fried fish and sea food with many bottles of ouzo to wash them down. Then Sofia and Vangelis complained about never seeing us during week nights anymore, thus demanded to continue our day together at their house. So we went over, built a huge fire (they have an enormous fireplace) and chit chatted for hours. Then Angelos got hungry again, so we ordered some food. Grilled pork souvlaki with grilled onions and tomatoes on grilled pitta bread. Super yummy I tell ya!

So although my weigh in on Saturday showed a good maintenance, I was up a kilo and a half yesterday morning. Ouzo ouzo...lol

I dont sweat over it too much you know. I made a very consious decision to eat and drink on Sunday. Waking up at 1 am on saturday night and feeling refreshed was something that really made me feel great. And the way we approached it, especially the way Angelos approached it, because when we sleep in on Saturdays and wake up late after a nap (and late for him is usually around 8.30 in the evening) he panicks and thinks he wont be able to sleep in the night, really made me feel great. It really made me forget all the long days of last week, the tension and immense responsibillity of turning in a budget a bit over 2 million euros.

This, however, did not make me feel less yucky and bloated when I woke up on Monday. And although I was expecting it and had chose for it to happen, it did not made me think less about it.

There is something missing. There are goals missing I think. Yet, last night when I was talking about it with Angelos, he reminded me of a few things, that really made me see some progress.

You must have understood by now that I am really a bit of a workacholic. I have been working for 14 years now in this field. I have changed 4 companies, then started my own, and you know the rest. Angelos has been witnessing all the job changes in my life. He has agreed that the last one has been the most challenging. What he reminded me last night was the amount of weight I gained each time I changed my job. Even when I was not overweight, I would gain weight the first 3-4 months in a new job. I would spend the day working like a maniac then return home and eat my stress out. The less I would end up with is a good 5 kilos gain. When my partner and I started our company, both of us gained about 8 kilos each in less than 3 months.

This time, I have gained and lost the same couple of kilos since I went to this job. What does this tells me? That I have indeed mastered the art of maintenance. I mean, I have maintained this weight for what, a year and a half? This is enough time, don't you think?

However, I do not have the same feeling of my body I used to have a year ago. A year ago, my body was happy with this weight. It felt lighter. Naturally missus, you might add. Your poor body had shedded 42 kilos to get the 88 kilos. It was expected to feel lighter, livier. Staying to this weight for ever though has brought to both my body and mind the reality. This is not the healthy weight for this body. So my body now has started to feel a bit heavy again. Not the heavy it felt at 130 kilos. But the real heavy it is now. I guess my whole system has stabilised now to this weight and it does not want it anymore. The merits of my weightloss have been plenty but they do not change the fact that there is still work to be done.

I have to work. This last week was all about me. Besides the long working hours, I managed to do the following: I had my hair cut, I went and had a manicure and pedicure. Every morning I took long showers, twice I took salt baths in the evening. I did my hair and my make up every morning and took time to dress nicely and wear accessories to work. I bought flowers again for the house. I set the coffee table with linens and porcelain dishes and candles and crystal glasses for dinner every night. I cooked each and every night no matter how late I return except Friday. I took half an hour break for lunch and although I did not eat lunch or left the office, I called my girlfriends and chit chatted for 30 minutes each day.

So I sort of have the taking care of me under control again. The woman in me to be more precise. Now I have to tackle the fat. It is in the back of my head all the time. I need to push it forward and deal with it. I have a very lame answer to the question "Why do you want to lose the rest of the weight?" Angelos posed last night. "Because I have to finish with what I started". This is not a good one for me you know. And I could not come up with anything else. Lond gone are the days with the long lists of why I want to lose weight. Shop in regular shops? I do it already. Wear high heels and not have to go to the foot doctor the next day? Easy peasy! Walk up the stairs without puffing? Yes ma'am! Done too!

So my half - arsed efforts really reflect my lack of goals and the lack of goals clearly reflect my lack of motivation, and the lack of motivation clearly reflects my lack of reasons to do it. I do not know what my carrot should be. But I miss my carrot and I am determined to find it! So this week will be all about this. I will slowly work my way to the reasons I want to lose the rest of the weight for. Along with the reasons will come the goals I need to set for myself.

I have gotten half the day off work today. I still have not replaced the my ID that was lost in July. I had my passport. Which expires on Thursday. So I need to go get a new ID asap! Which means I have to go now and take photos, then go through the amazing beauracracy it requires to get a birth certificate and then got to go to the police station and get the ID. Nice eh?

Then its off to the office, till 7.30, then off to therapy at 8.15, till 9.15, and then Angelos will pick me up and take me to my Valentine's surprise :)

So I better get ready huh?

Happy Valentines my dearest darlings. Spread the love!