My husband calls me "skinny" this last week. He tells me all the time I have just lost so much weight. He keeps on saying he is amazed what a great difference 2 kilos down make.
My mom on Friday told me I look 16. She told me she can't even remember how long it has been since the last time I looked so good.
Sofia and Vangelis, on Vangelis birthday on Thursday night, where I went with my salad determined to refuse cake, like I did and felt so proud too, told me that I am a radiant new woman!
You left amazing comments in flickr about the last photos I posted.
Yesterday, I went to a shop to buy a pair of jeans, 2 sizes smaller than my current ones, because I want a pair of jeans that I will look forward to get in - they don't fit yet, they need 3 kilos less or so I think - the salesgirl told me that perhaps I should look at a darker shade of denim as it would be more flattering for my thighs. She meant that my thighs are huge and what the hell was I doing with light blue jeans.
On Thursday, when I went downtown to fetch Vangelis' birthday present, I went to a shop that I visit regularly, because they had a 70% off clearance on last year's summer clothes, I bought a pair of white trousers (for 10 euros yay!!!) and the lady that served me asked me if I'd rather have them on black.
I feel like the two sides of the same token. Head or tales folks? Head is family and friends and people who love me and have known my struggle (though not as well as all of you on the same battle do) and see the results and the difference, and indeed, now that I am 42 kilos smaller, to them I look absolutely gorgeous. And then there are tales too. People who just meet me, salespersons that have never see me before and ask themselves what the hell this woman is thinking of when she buys tank tops or white trousers! Look at those thighs...look at those arms!!! (tis actually where I hide my 88 kilos shauny ;o)
I don't get discouraged by these salespersons. Not anymore. I have done my hard job and I have tried hard to acheive what I have acheived. Noone will make me think less of myself and my achievement. But it just shows the pure truth of this post's title. Beauty lies indeed in the eyes of the beholder. For some I am gorgeous, for others I am the fat woman who acts as if she's not.
For the tables, I am still obese. My BMI at my lowest weight of 88.3 is 31.3. I still have to loose 4.3 kilos to be simply overweight. And I have to loose 18 to be "normal" again.
And the sad part is that when I loose those 18 kilos, I won't actually be normal but in the tables of numbers only. Because of the excess skin, the miles of stretch marks, the cellulite, all these you might very well know.
But back in the january of 2001, when I was looking to the future and knew that I had 60 kilos to loose, when I repeated to myself every single day that it was never going to happen because it was just way too much weight for someone to loose, back then I never thought there would be a moment when I would actually try a pair of white trousers, and would get out of the dressing room asking for a size smaller because what they had given me was too big!
And with or without my loose skin and stretch marks and cellulite, I am closer to the finish line than I have ever been. And this is precious. And this is my doing. And I feel proud to share it with you every day. Because when I reach my goal, there will be this time when I will accidentally meet someone I have not seen in years, and they will say...omg...you have lost SO MUCH weight...how on earth did you do it? And I will smile and tell them. "Easily. When I thought I was ready to give up, I started an online blog!"