In the beginning of March, I had set myself a challenge that I'd get back to 88.8 kilos pre - Amsterdam weight. The cute three eights, remember? Well, I had said then that the challenge ended on March 16. But March 16 came and went, and I have had a hard couple of weeks, I had some pretty low days, went through a lot inside me, and ate my way though some of it too.
For an emotional eater such as myself, this is always going to happen. The good thing is that now it happens very consiously, resulting in lasting a lot shorter than it used to, and in better quality too. Smaller quantities too. The most important thing now is that it is aknowledged for what it is exactly, and therefore is treated as such. A weak moment, not a state of being.
It is very fortunate that I got on the scales today to see the cute three eights lined up for me next to each other. 88.8 kg again. Bliss! And it is fortunate, because I like to start with this weight today that I am in a clear mind set, after a very refreshing good night's sleep, and ready to share my goals.
When I started this blog last May, I wanted to share a journey with you, because I needed the support and the feedback. I also needed all the "bravo's" I could get. Don't take this wrong. During my weighloss journey the last four years, I have taken bravos in abundance. But it is always different to take them from people sharing the same struggle, people who understand what it means to work your arse off for a 200 gr loss. Support and encouragement from people who have actually been or still are there is so much different. So much more precious.
Back then I have hoped that I'd loose the remaining 25 kilos in a year. It sounded really rational. It would be about 2 to 3 kilos a month, really doable. I remember I started my blog middle May and I know from my notebook that on May 1st I weighed at 95. I must have been around 91 or 92 when I started blogging.
But then life comes in and throws her little tricks and plans go down the drain.
I was trying to see how I felt for this. Surely I did not meet my purpose. Surely all I managed to do since then was loose some, gain it back, loose some again, gain it back, loose it again.
However, this morning I am happy.
It is still March, and for the first time in my weight loss history I managed to not have gained at least 6 kilos during the winter. Which I have gained really, but have managed to loose again too.
So with Spring right here at my door (though hiding behind these clouds the last couple of days), I am pleased with myself for having lost some weight. For having learned to not allow more than 3-4 kilos to pile before I take action. Of course, I have been forced to learn this. And I have found a wonderful strategy to help me too. Every 3-4 kilos, I take all my trousers and skirts to the dress maker and have them taken in. She complains and complains. She even tries to stop me from doing this bringing the money issue. "You would have made a pile of new clothes with all these money you pay me to take them in" she tells me every time. And it is true. But if I did that you know what would have happened? The bigger clothes would have still been in my closet, and I would have something to fit in should I've taken more than the 3-4 kilos. Whereas now, I don't. Smart right? hehe
Every winter, even when I have been slim, I gain weight. It is the cold, the comfort of yummy food after a hard working day, the gathering of friends for dvd's or games with chocolate and wine and pasta and the likes. Small pleasures that I find so hard to deny.
But this winted now leaves with a luggage of a few kilos of mine gone. And this makes me happy. It is only a tinsy amount of ..what?...6.2 kilos if I take the May 1st weight, or ...hang on...lemme check...8 kilos if I take the end of March weight. Not perfect, but nor bad either. A loss is a loss, right?
So I have set myself some goals. Some dates too. From now to April 24 it will be a mad period at work. There is a big Festival we are organising, promoting and doing the press for that will really need at least a good of 12 hours of constant hard work. Nights too, because there is an event each and every night.
Then, on April 25, the Easter week starts. Easter for us Christian Orthodox is on May 1st.
So my goal is to weight 83 kg by April 30.
I will eat by the basic detox plan - the scariest detox known to mankind as Kimba calls it - which really suits me in Spring. I been doing it for a bit more than a week now and it is so much easier than it was in January! Soon the organic tomatoes will be out. And last spring when I started this detox, I never felt deprived. On the contrary, I felt like I was eating like a queen. I'd have apples and strawberries all day, and then in the evening Id have a HUGE salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, onions, capers, kalamata olives, peppers, fresh basil, fresh spearmint, olive oil, roasted zucchinis, roasted eggplants. And pieces of rye rusks cut in it, which absorbed all the tomato juice and olive oil. My mouth waters just with the thought! Only that now, every couple of weeks I will take one pleasurable meal. For the purpose of the soul pleasing and the leptin tricking...lol
My exercise will be walking. Brisk walks in the morning, on my way to work. half the way, some of the way, all the way. It will depend on each day's workload and mood. But never less than my 4 km.
So this is it, till April 30. I have exactly 40 days to loose 5.8 kilos. If I manage to get clean out of this long weekend, I think it will be totally doable. (We are leaving on Friday and are coming back on Sunday evening :o))
So, have you noticed? I am back, with a plan, and a better mood!