My therapist became a father yesterday! I am just so very happy for him! However, I really needed this session. I just hope we can schedule one sooner than next week!
Lately I have not been myself. I have been sad-ish at times, I get angry very easily, and I have a weird feeling of restlessness that annoys me lots. Sleep at night has become difficult. Dreams have been weird. Body has been feeling strange. And sex has been out of question. Even cuddles have become something that annoys me.
Angelos has been patient. But then he always is. I say this with a bit of disappointment, because at times like this I somehow wish he would be a bit more persistent and sort of drag me out of this state.
On Friday, after the big clean up, I had a lot of time to myself. Time to me differs. Time to me can be any of the following:
Cooking alone before A. comes home. This is when I let all the day’s steam out and relax.
A long bath in candle light with bubbles and smells and oils and body butter afterwards. This is when I am being nice to me.
My morning routine: the iced coffee and the blog-reading. This is my good start for the day. Then the work-outs. This is when I am taking care of myself. Then the endless outfits on the floor of my study till I find one to wear. This is my (usually successful) attempt to cheer me up by looking nice.
Gardening in my pots. This is my contact to nature. (I am still amazed that a tiny seed and a handful of soil can create such beauty and satisfaction)
The first 30 mins after entering my office. I close my office door, do not take phone calls, do not take any questions from my partner or assistant. This is my getting organised time.
And last but not least, free time that I do not want to do anything of the above. This is the serious me time, where I pretend to be a vegetable by laying down in the bed or the sofa, breath deep, shut all the thoughts out, and let the feelings float. Then, I welcome the thoughts back and dig in deep.
That was last Friday.
I realised I have this open since when I arrived in the office. And it is 5.11 in the afternoon now. I have no more time, so I will post this as it is. Tomorrow will be more coming. Food has been good and within points yesterday and today. I had a big lunch and I will have a tuna salad when I go home around 6.30, because then I have to be in the theatre by 8 cos we have yet another avant premiere. Cheers for now.
Height: 1.68 cm
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs