My husband's efforts to cheer me up have surpassed my imagination. Last night, he came to pick me up from the club event after I was finished, around 11 in the evening, and he had this wicked look in his face. "There is a surprise for you at home" he said. "Oh come on, spare me, tell me what it is!" I said. "No" where his sole word till we rached home.

So he had gotten me The Stepford Wives in DVD for me to watch and chill out. In my favourite way too. You see, when we get silly girly movies, he sits in his favourite armchair, with the little stool for his feet, and always comments and teases and makes jokes during the entire film. This, by the way, is not my favourite way. My favourite way is for him to sit in one end of the sofa, to put a pillow on his lap, put my head on that pillow, and have him totally silent when I comment with my ooooooooh's and ahhhhhhh's. But my poor possum was so tired last night, that after half an hour of quietly yawning, he took my advice and gladly went to bed, while I stayed to watch the remaining movie.

I swear, I was jealous of them. I wanted nanochips inplanted in my brain, taking out all concernes, making cooking and decorating and looking gorgeous my sole tasks for life. I was thinking that actually there are women like that. I know a few myself. That when they wake up in the morning, after following a religious routine of cleaning their face, showering, applying thousands of creams, different to each body part, then wear something beautiful, and drink their coffees in nice porcelain cups, reading (the greek equivalent of) Better Homes and Gardens, and they are so content. So stress free.

Ah well....

This morning I got on the scales to see two chocolatey kilos more than the last time I weighed in. This did not make me happy at all. All through this time, everytime I had the chance to get home for showers and clean clothes, I would weight in and see that I have maintained regardless the bad food I ate at the hospital, and feel good thinking that finally my metabolism has stabilized and I have become a normal person, where a bad meal or a bar of chocolate would not man a gain of a kilo. Ha! Tough chance mates. Not with the ammount of fat cells in this body!

So that got me thinking. First came the excuses. I got my period in the middle of the night, so that's definetely water gain! Ha! Tough chance again! BEcause I have see that when I am eating right the scales are affected by my period only for 200-400 grammars. Some more excuses followed, like, although things aren't good with my mom yet, at least I get to be at home and it is only logical - in my current premenstrual state - to eat bad and relax with friends and oh it's christmas coming etc etc. And this excuse would have worked miracles, if I had actually enjoyed my binges. But I had not. They were neurotic, stressed, angry binges. The kind of ones you eat things you even don't really fancy, just to chew hard, and let all your anxiety concentrate on the mechanic chewing of your angry teeth. Do you know what I mean?

So I had a banana for breakfast. And my coffee. And I will have some vegies for lunch. I will make some lentille soup for dinner, because today I have a phto shoot for a cover of a magazine for one of my clients, abnd then that's it work wise. So I will get up and go cook now, then shower and get ready cos the photo shoot will start at 2.30. And it is noon already!!!!

Yesterday my partner came to me and said that I do not look good. She said that I need a rest, and told me that after I finish with the shoot today, I can turn off my phone, and come back to work on Monday, after New Year's Day. That was a precious gift, that has made all the unfinished Christmas business that felt like a nightmare till then look more bright now. So tomorrow the entire day will be dedicated to shopping for pressies and the big lunch. Then Friday will be mega cooking day. Christmas Eve will be us and just our favourite couple of friends wearing fancy pj's and playing Trivial and Jenga and Taboo. Then Xmas day will be the big lunch, and the leftovers will be packed and go to our friends house and we will play more games.

Now I have all next week to relax and sleep, I feel some joy with having to do all this. Some. Not entirely. But I am getting there :)

Tomorrow I will wish you all a merry christmas!