Monday, November 22, 2004
In a lighter mood
I feel better than earlier today. I have had a very bad weekend. Friday morning we had the bad news. All Friday and all the weekend my mother was in full denial. She was discussing seeing other doctors, seaking other chemo procedures, and the likes. I was telling her to find the two best doctors who do this kind of surgery and decide which one to use, and she was telling me, sure, because you know he can suggest further treatment instead of surgery.

The bad thing is that my dad was in the same ship. Let's see more doctors and then decide. He would suggest too.

And my brother could not agree more.

I had to be the bastard of the family and bring the reality in the party. At some point, on Sunday morning, where my brother with his wife and the kids were there, me and my husband and my parents were all gathered in the kitchen, and they were all saying such wise suggestions, I had to stop them and say...

"Sure, we can go to many doctors and ask for further chemo, and radiation and alternative medicine and and and. Of course, this way we can have the miracle and cure mom's cyst cancer. But since the cancer cells have started to penetrate the last layer of her cyst, which means that they will sooner or later have access to the rest of her vital organs, we will have to come up with such plans for whatever we might have to face next"

They hated me you know. I did hate myself too. They were having this casual conversation and I so wanted to be part of it. and feel hope, and dream that she won't have to go thru the cystectomy. But I had to be the bastard.

I am just back to the office after visiting her doctor with her. He was very thorough in describing the procedure. He reassured her that he will go for the option of not having the plastic bag, he said he will try to recreate the cyst in a way that she will go to the toilette like a normal person. Providing that her body allows him to do so. He told her that this is done so that she will get rid of cancer, and that she should treat this surgery as a way to a better health and not as an amputation.

We left and she was indeed better. So I am better too :)

Tomorrow we will go see the number 1 specialist in these kinds of operations. I had to use some vip's I know to get to him. I have never done this in my life before. But I would beg for anyone's health, let alone my mother's.

So tomorrow she will decide which doctor. But today I think she finally got in terms with the surgery. She feels hope. I do too.

Half the weekend I ate nothing. Nothing on Friday. Nothing on Saturday. Then on Saturday evening, I had a pizza binge.

I will let you know more tomorrow. I am so grateful that I begun blogging. I have used this to express many feelings and have been blessed with some wonderful women who show sincere concern and support. I have no words to thank you all.

Posted by Argy at 5:48 pm
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo!!! Wonderful comments Argy. I agree 100% with your decision to "wake up" the family to the real situation. This brings back memories of my time with my mother - her prognosis was never good. In fact when told of her cancer she was only given two weeks to live. She did in fact live for 4 months (only because of radiotherapy) - the hardest four months of my life. I was pregnant at the time and my mother's death and my daughter's birth were at approx the same time.

Sorry to tell you my story - this is your story, but I do understand more than you will know.


12:39 am

Blogger Kimba said...

Good on you for being strong and brave enough to say the 'hard words'. Sometimes you have to be 'cruel' to be 'kind'. But I know how difficult it must have been for you. Just remember, you weren't being a bastard. You were being realistic. And your mum needs that.

I just want to say, I'm really proud of you for how gracefully you are handling this. Your family is lucky to have someone as strong as you to help them though this.

As always, my thoughts are with you all.
Lots of love, Kimba XOXOX

12:44 am

Blogger Cat said...

Hi Argy

Sorry to hear about your bad news. Wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. I am one of those "anonymous" readers who have been enjoying reading your blog, but have not left any comment til now. You are not the "bastard" in the family, you are the brave one. It takes guts & courage to be real. Hope the surgery goes well.



3:35 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wanted to enforce what the others have said. Stay strong and remember we are all here with you through this journey. It does bring back memories of when Dad had cancer but I won't go into that here.
Take care - big hugs xxx


6:45 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't work out how to get on here (Doh) or I'd have posted before- this is to send heartfelt prayers and wishes for strength and support to you, your mother and the rest of your family


6:56 am

Blogger Tracy said...

Dearest Argy - your post brought tears into my eyes. Something surfaced from my past - my mother had thyroid cancer that had to be operated when I was 10 yrs old - I was so young I did not understand to be scared and she got totally cured after the surgery. I just could not imagine going through that now in adult age. You are so brave an curageous - hang I there, sending strength and consolation and wishing the whole family all the best, Tracy

12:00 pm

Blogger Denise said...

I remember my mother's cancer so well and the terrifying time before her surgery, too. You, your mother, and the entire family are in my prayers and I'll ask Mom to add you to her prayer list, too. (We are certain that she has a hotline to God because there's no reason on Earth that she should have had the outcome she did from her cancer.)

12:44 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

No words of advice from me just a big cuddly {{{{hug}}}}!!!

Lyn @

5:16 am


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About Me
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.

Age: 37
Height: 1.68 cm
SW: 130kg/286lbs
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs
Left: 17kg/37.4lbs

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