I have received a few emails from you my sweets. You are all so kind. Thank you.

Some of you ask what I do and work all these crazy hours. Some of you ask how I manage. So I decided to give you some life facts about me, that will make my ramblings more understandable.

Since January 2002, another woman and me started a Public Relations company. Our main clients are theatre and concert producers. They put up the shows, we are doing the promo. I used to work in a concert and ballet producer, doing PR and production too. She was a free lancer in theatre promotion. We have known each other through work for 10 years. She reached a point where she either had to grow or stay there for ever. I had quit my job because it was a madhouse. Timing was good when she proposed to start a company together.

She had the office all set up, and offered me the choise to pay her off half of what was in the office and get a 50 - 50 partnership, or pay nothing and get 60 - 40 deal. I opted for the second. I did not want to invest on something that at the time was just "let's see if this works out".

We are doing well. Well in the sense that in these almost 3 years the business covers its bills and ours too. Nothing fancy. But no struggle either. We both believed that we should give it 3 years and see if it grows. Then reconsider. We both can get work in the field with a great paycheck. Bigger one than our current for sure!

So my partner, who is 45 years old, after years of struggling, gave birth to a wonderful boy beginning of September. Right when the business started to grow!

Right now I am working 4 theatres, Athens's biggest club, a radio station, Athen's bigest music hall, and a big congress starting Oct. 6! My first premiere was last night. My other two theatres premiere in Oct.15. My last Oct. 21. The club does its grand opening on Oct. 21. The music hall opening is on Nov. 5.

It is insane! My partner was suppose to return to work Oct. 15. She told me yesterday she wants a couple of weeks more with the baby. I so much understand her. When I will have my baby I will want a couple more years with them. But I am so tired I get cranky.

I feel my shoulders collapsing from all this weight. Not only I have more work than I can handdle. I hired a second assistant and it is not enough. I can't afford a third. Even if I did though, it wouldn't be usueful really. See, they can do so much only, and they do not want to take the responsibility of deciding on the spot. Because of the madness in the entertainment business. So I have to decide on the format of the program book. I have to decide on the tableclothes. I have to call and arrange the nterviews. I have to be in the theatre and deal with the sponsors. I have to decide what bloody coffee they will serve on the bloody press conference.

And all this is happening in a way that shouts "If you make it now then this company WILL grow. And when this company grows then you will be better off financially, not to mention the satisfaction you will get from this accomplishment!"

Sometimes I just want to quit and sell herbs in the local fruit market!!!!

Never in my life I had a nice job where like a normal person I would finish at 5 p.m. But I am a mazochist and love the buzz.

I weighed in this morning. Nice 87.8 kg. I am not eating well. I have some apples during the day. This is all I can eat when under so much stress. Then I have a huge dinner, not huge in quantity as much, as in calories and fats. I try to justify my choises by telling to myself that I am eating healthy foods. The fats are olive oil, there is not a single food item in this house that it is not organic. I am saved by the fact that I am running around from 9 in the morning till 10 in the evening the earliest. Most working days now exceed 13 solid hours in a row.

I need to get back to a normal routine. But this won't happen for at least another month. It is almost 11 am now and I need to get foing to work. With the congress starting on wednesday I will be working all weekend too!

A part of me, the masochistic one, loves all this madness. There is always a moment in my day where I feel that I surprise myself with a wam feeling of accomplishing yet another task. I think that if my mind wasnot occupied with all this worry about my mom, things would not have been that bad. I have some bad moments. Really gloomy ones. Where I am in the WC peeing and finding myself petrified by the thought that this so trivial thing is something that my mom may not be able to ever do again after 4 weeks. Then I remind myself I must have hope. I really do. It is jsut that sometimes...

I do not think I will be back posting before Oct. 11 when my congress ends. But I am positive that I will benefit from this congress a lot and I feel that I will also get so much from it too. It is a psychotherapy congress. With lotsa yoga and tai chi and massages and energetic stuff. The only pain in the arse is that the bloody congress desk has to open at fucking 7 am!!!!

See you in ten days :)