Monday, September 06, 2004
I could not come up with a title. How can you choose the right words for what words do not exist for? I spoke to my mother's doctor. A few hours ago. The news are not good. Yes the tumor was cancerous. And yes it has affected her gall bladder. Yes, there are things towards treating it. But from what the doctor's experience says, we will have to have her gall bladder removed in a few months.
We decided with the doctor that it is best to not tell her that her gall bladder is affected. To tell her that because the little tumour was cancerous she will have to go through the effusions for precautionary reasons. And we will take it from here.
She sounded great when she called and said to me her news. That was of course after I had spoken to her doctor. She said...honey I wish I could tell you that the biopsy was not positive, but this little thing was cancerous after all. However it is all removed and there is no problem with me now.
I do not feel strong. I do not feel. I am numb and pretend to work but my mind cannot concentrate on anything.
I do not know how to break the news to my brother. I have decided not to tell my father and have asked the doctor to not tell him anything more either. He has his own health problems and I am afraid he won't take it well.
Horrible images feel my mind. And as usual, like every day when I go home from work, I will have to stop by her house (we live very close) and pretend I am happy that the worst is over. I fear the moment I see her. I fear I will burst into tears.
I must be strong.
We decided with the doctor that it is best to not tell her that her gall bladder is affected. To tell her that because the little tumour was cancerous she will have to go through the effusions for precautionary reasons. And we will take it from here.
She sounded great when she called and said to me her news. That was of course after I had spoken to her doctor. She said...honey I wish I could tell you that the biopsy was not positive, but this little thing was cancerous after all. However it is all removed and there is no problem with me now.
I do not feel strong. I do not feel. I am numb and pretend to work but my mind cannot concentrate on anything.
I do not know how to break the news to my brother. I have decided not to tell my father and have asked the doctor to not tell him anything more either. He has his own health problems and I am afraid he won't take it well.
Horrible images feel my mind. And as usual, like every day when I go home from work, I will have to stop by her house (we live very close) and pretend I am happy that the worst is over. I fear the moment I see her. I fear I will burst into tears.
I must be strong.
Posted by Argy at 4:43 pm
About Me
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.
Stats
Age: 37
Height: 1.68 cm
SW: 130kg/286lbs
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs
Left: 17kg/37.4lbs
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How can you not tell her? Is that even legal for the doctor not to tell her?
I hope things go well with the gall bladder removal and that that is the last of it.
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
8:47 pm
If it was me, I would want to know it all, everything. Then there is honestly and we can all deal with it together. When my mother died it was the opposite, she did not tell us how bad it was at first - I think that made it harder for us all.
I'm not sure of the law there but here, a doctor would have to tell the patient first and not the children.
I am thinking of you and believe me - I do know what you are going through. You have the love of your husband and family. My plea is be truthful so that everyone can at least know what it is they are dealing with. Secrecy can be the biggest hurt of all. Don't be afraid to cry.
Lynda
11:20 pm
If it was me, I would want to know it all, everything. Then there is honestly and we can all deal with it together. When my mother died it was the opposite, she did not tell us how bad it was at first - I think that made it harder for us all.
I'm not sure of the law there but here, a doctor would have to tell the patient first and not the children.
I am thinking of you and believe me - I do know what you are going through. You have the love of your husband and family. My plea is be truthful so that everyone can at least know what it is they are dealing with. Secrecy can be the biggest hurt of all. Don't be afraid to cry.
Lynda
11:22 pm
opps.. sorry about the double entry there, I didn't think it had saved. Just wanted to add... * BIG HUGS *
12:11 am
You and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
Lee
3:40 am
I'm so sorry. I went through a similar kind of nightmare few years ago, but I still can't say anything wise...I just know that even if it feels like world is collapsing right now, days just somehow follow one another and some day one is able to smell the roses again. I wish you all the best in the world, strength and will to carry on (((hugs)))
Tracy
9:06 am
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom :( I sincerely hope everything goes well for her treatment.
2:36 pm
OH Argy, be strong. I have you and your family in my thoughts. The best thing you could do is be truthful...with everyone. That way you can all lean on eachother through this ordeal. Be strong...and p.s. yes, you ARE crazy about swimming in the buff....crazy girl!
7:32 pm
Argy,
Remain positive! The Dr has said there is a treatment, and they have come a long way in recent years with cancer treatment.
Remain strong & happy for your Mum, it will make things easier for her. And it's not fair to leave your Dad in the dark, he'd be furious if he found out later that nobody told him the truth.
Take care, and remember, positve thoughts!!
Amanda @ http://alleycat76.diary-x.com
12:02 am
{{Hugs}} for you and for your mom. Thoughts & prayers continue. You're stronger than you know -- and yes, it always sucks to find that out . . .
5:23 pm
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