Here I am again...
Thank you all for your kind comments.
I am better.
I read the previous post. Dark and gloomy, wasn't it? And lucking information too. I will clear out some things.
The doctor I spoke with that day was neither the ongologist nor the doctor who removed my mom's tumour. It was her general practitioner who got the biopsy first. There was no way I was going to tell her things before I had checked them twice with specialists. Nor was I going to say anything to the rest of my family. One person panicking was enough. There was no reason to add more to my list without all the info.
Ever since we saw two doctors with my mother. We went to both appointments together. Last one was today.
So my mom knows she has gall bladder cancer. It was important though to find out from the mouth of a specialist who could explain every little detail to her. And not from a general practitioner or a daughter who could not answer any possible questions. It was very important to listen from a specialist, the same specialist who will treat her, that "You have cancerous cells in your gall bladder, cells that are grade 3 aggressive but that have not affected the outside muscle tissue of your bladder. A cancer noone ever died from!"
So there are good news in the bad news. But even if I knew and had told her, there was no way she would have believed I knew what I was saying. She would have thought I am only trying to serve the horror in a nice way.
Her possibilities to be cured with the treatment and to not have to remove her bladder are 50%. Pretty high I think. She is strong. She is possitive. She will fight.
I feel a lot better. Do not think it was an easy decision for me to make to hold the news to her for a couple of days.
If you have good vibes in your heart, do send her some please. She is a magnificent woman who has gone so much struggle in her life and she deserves to have a lot more time in her hands now to do the things she wants the most. Spend retirement with my dad who retires in two years, with whom she has been together for 38 years, enjoy her grandchildren, see me have children, forget the bad situations she went through in her life. I come from a very hard working family with parents who worked their asses off and managed to built a good fortune, all lost when I was about 18. They had to rebuilt everything. They did the best they could. My mom fought. I know she will fight again.
On the weightloss front now, I been ok. I try to drink water because I have too many espressos to keep me working and dealing with things. I can't have breakfast or lunch, but I have a good dinner.I am not doing any exercise at all. And can you imagine! I have forgot to weigh!!!!
But I will tomorrow. Now I am going to go to see my gyno. I have some tests to run and I been having some pains, but I am sure they are stress related. But from my mom's story so far I have realised that prevention is crucial. And I have also realised that I must take good care of myself as well. Better than what I was doing so far. We are all links of the chain that is our family. If we do not appreciate ourselves enough to take good care of ourselves, we are disrespecting the gift of life they have given us.
I will be back more often. And thanks again for your kind comments of support and encouragement.
P.S. I will get those cards to the post office soon!