It was very warm last night. I think it was the first really warm and humid night for this summer. You know, one of these nights when you don't want to sleep, you don't want to talk, you just want to sit in the balcony and breathe, and feel all the sensations summer nights bring: The joy of a sudden cool breeze, the smells of jasmine and basil, the quietness of the city, the clear sky full of stars, the anticipation of the holidays by the sea.
This is exactly what I did last night. I sat by myself in the balcony and breathed. Long deep breaths that relaxed me. Got me all mellow and calm. And then, I thought of something.
In all the weight loss journals and blogs I read, there is always the issue of weekends. In my own long experience of dieting, there is always the issue of weekends.
We all have perfect weeks. That unfortunately last Friday night. Or Saturday night. Or at its best, Sunday morning. We all tend to go overboard at some point during the weekend. Why?
I asked myself this question. I could not reply it immediately. So I asked myself another question.
What has food been for me?
Food has been comfort. Food has been a way of venting. Food has been filling emotional gaps. Food has been entertaining my boredom. Food has been covering my anger. Food has been an outlet. Food has been relaxing. Food has been fun. Food has been involved with most fun things in my life: dinners with friends, celebrations, holidays, vacations.
And weekends are for venting after a hard working week. Weekends fill the gaps caused in my emotional needs by a hectic week, because weekends give me more time with my husband and friends and family. Weekends are comfortable. Weekends are entertaining. Weekends sometimes make me peculiarly angry because they last so little. Weekends are fun because we go out, have friends over for dinner, and enjoy our time.
So weekends tend to be food!!!
Now if only I was able to separate those two! But I am hopeful. Now that I cleared this in my head, now that I found some kind of relation to them, I am hopeful.
So I will challenge myself this weekend. And you will be my witnesses.
My husband and I will go away to a small village by the sea, a couple of hours drive from Athens. This is my challenge:
Take my little red notebook with me, and write down all the times I feel like eating something I should not, and why I want it. See what are the specific situations I feel like going overboard.
You think it will work?