Monday, March 20, 2006
What if....
I had never reached 130 kilos? What if I started now? What if I had spent the last british pounds I had in Heathrow airport buying all the different cadbury chocolates I had never seen in my life - just like I did - brought them home, ate them all durig the weekend, woke up this very Monday sick with myself, afraid to get on the scales, and decided its about time to lose some weight?

Would I then start with a fresh approach and a new zest?

We will see....

For your information, the cadburry I scoffed down like a maniac all weekend was:

Fruit 'n' nuts
Bubble
orange chips
mint chips
caramel
turkish delight
shortbread

Oh, and guiness infused milk chocolate truffles!

It is really very stupid of me. I ate so well in Belfast and walked an average of 13,000 steps a day, to come here and destroy it all in a breath.

I'm really nervous to go to the office today. I do not want to work there anymore and yet I know I will stay till june at least, to finish this project. I have worked very hard to put the foundation for it and I do not want someone else take the credit for it.

Yet, thinking about getting up and to the shower to get ready for work makes me want to eat more chocolate.

Angelos went shopping on saturday morning and bought all nice organic ingredients and made his own musli: 3 kinds of oats, wholewheat flakes, almonds, raisins, walnuts. I woke up this morning and he had left me a bowl of this by the bed with the note "just add milk".

Im going to have this for breakfast. If I stick to a diet for more than week, perhaps I will have one area of my life under control and then get some internal satisfaction.

This is what I miss the most lately.Some internal satisfaction!

Posted by Argy at 9:22 am
8 Comments:
Anonymous dg said...

hope your workday goes okay argy... huggggle

11:56 am

 
Blogger kathrynoh said...

hope it goes well - work problems are the worst.

12:53 pm

 
Blogger M said...

I have saved the best for last. It has been a while since I have been and so much has happened in your world. As I read through the posts and I read the fear, the worry, the problems that you face, I also read the solutions, the execution of a wonderful trip to Belfast and the knowledge that you know what you want and what you need to do.

You never cease to amaze me that you can look at the best parts of life and leave the rest to sit by the sidelines. It is very healthy.

I hope that the budget shows you can afford to stay home. You can afford to start up a small business of your own. You be the boss. No partner, no boss, no unreasonable peers. Just you and a handful of clients. The sort of business you can work a baby in to ;D

I am sad that you have been sad, but very happy that you rose to each occassion in your normal fantastic manner. You look sensational in that photo by the way.

Have a wonderful day Argy. I am saying goodnight as I have been here for just over 4 hours now and my hands are sore from typing. That will teach me to stay away so long LOL. xx

3:36 pm

 
Blogger Wendy said...

Hi, Argy - can I tell you, I was blown away by your courage in your last entry. That you faced this crazy work crisis by an immediate recognition that, "this is way too bad for me, I will not subject to this" really, truly wow'ed me! Now that's some courage, love! and, that that was your immediate reaction shows you value yourself highly, as you definitely should.

and who DOESN'T buy the chocolates when they're visiting another country?! You'd have to be a fool not to! Don't worry about a little overindulging, today is a new day, and so is tomorrow. You are doing great. One little misstep does not end the race.

take care, Argy!!!!

9:30 pm

 
Blogger Gretchen said...

Hi there! I just started reading your site. As one girl who had a chocolate filled weekend to another...I'm with you! Let's hide those scales until Wed.!

9:50 pm

 
Blogger Tracy said...

Have a wonderful week Argy! Loved reading about Belfast - I wish I could travel for work as well. Hope the work situation resolves soon, nothing is worse than having a dissatisfactory job, I can tell from recent experience ;)

2:57 pm

 
Blogger Catesa said...

what if is such a hard place to be. i think it all the time! so, continue on forward and forget the what if you amazing woman you :)

11:11 am

 
Blogger Mary said...

What if? I try not to think that way because it always gets me in trouble. The choc binge sounds like you needed it so now you can move forward, I hope. I've got heaps to catch up on so will continue reading...

8:20 am

 

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About Me
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.

Stats
Age: 37
Height: 1.68 cm
SW: 130kg/286lbs
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs
Left: 17kg/37.4lbs

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