I got a phonecall last night from an old client. We have not been working together for the last 16 months, mainly because she closed her production company as she undertook the position of the managing director in one of the most important cultural organisations in greece.
She and I had a strange friendship, a weird chemistry which continued although she and my business partner got into a very bad argument right after she undertook that position.
She asked me to meet her this morning because there was an emergency.
She offered me a managerial position in this organisation with a very attractive salary and bennefits package. The position itself is a dream of mine. It is the implementation of all programs manager position. A team of 15 people to lead, and all the programs are of course big cultural productions. The finances will make Angelos and I breath with relief.
But I will have to leave my company. I will have to leave my partner. And I will have to postpone for at least 6 months the baby making process.
Our company is struggling currently. We have agreed with my partner that we will give it another year and then decide if we have to shut it down. Of course, since this company existed before me, this means that my partner will keep her basic and steady customers, whom she had before I joined in, and I will have to look for a job. In the ripe age of almost 38.
Ethically I do not feel well. But this is a great big opportunity for me. This organisation is public, which means security.
I sincerelly do not know what I should do. What my mind says is totally different from what my heart dictates. I feel excited and honoured to have been offered this position, and yet guilty and totally freaked out about what accepting it might mean.
What if this is the year that our company will make the big difference?
What if 10 months from now I am left with no company, pregnant or with a new born, and no income?