When you are a person with lots of weight to loose, which usually results in some fatigue with all this watching of what you eat and how you move, you tend to stop, eat bad for a little while, gain some weight, resume, and hit the target again.

This has been the case with me for all these years I have been trying to loose weight. Sometimes I got tired of all the trying, and just slipped. Sometimes I got too comfortable with how I look, and just slipped.

On February, I managed to weigh 20 kilos less than last February 2004. My reward was my trip to Amsterdam. Actually this was my burning flame. A shopping spree can be a huge inspiration for my vanity you know.

But it just occured to me today, that in May 17 2004 I started this blog with the challenging, for me, title "25 to go". I thought then that putting this down would make me fight hard for these last 25 kilos. And now? Almost a year after, and I am not far from where I started last May. Surely, one could say that I have lost a bit and have not gained. But if you count how many times I have lost and gained and lost and gained the same 3 kilos since December, you will see that if I only lost and slightly gained, I would have lost at least 15 kilos by now. And would have had 10 to go.

But the truth is that I still have 19 kilos to go. In almost a year I have lost so far just 6 kilos. I could have gained 10 really, but still...

And I always seem to come up with plans I cannot follow well during the weekends. Monday to Friday I am perfect, Saturday I am good, and Sunday I eat Valhrona Sorbet. Like I did last night. And I got on the scales this morning to see 88.1, while on Saturday I saw 87.7. Plus I really miscalculated on Saturday. Because I thought my weight on Tuesday was 88.5. Ha! I erased from my mind the 89.4 I saw right after I was back from teh Easter holidays! So actually I had lost 1.8 kg and I gained 400 gr with the icecream overnight!

I know this will go off fast, because I eat the way I do, mainly fruits and veggies and a few carbs and protein. But I need more than this you know. I need the old flame back.

Sofia is leaving for Chicago to visit friends and family at the end of July. I am not sure I can afford the trip with the move and all the new stuff we need to buy, but we will stay at her cousin's home and it will be sales there too, so perhaps I could go for a week with her. Angelos is not too thrilled for me to go alone, but if we both went then it would be impossible for us to afford 2-3 weeks of holidays in the islands this summer.

But a shopping spree can be such a motivator...lol

I will have to think more about this...and other stuff...

I will be back on Wednesday with weigh in results and a good reward plan.