I want to...
- not go to bed at night, and at that point where I realise that the day is over, feel panic cos Im a day closer to yet another deadline that noone but me tries to meet.
- not feel this tight knot at my stomach every single second of the day, and not try to ease it by enormous quantities of the healthiest foods at dinner
- make love and become a wife again
- do mani's and pedi's and scrabs and facials and put moisturiser in my body
- get out on weekends and lay in the sun and get tanned
- put away the carpets and thick curtains and buy things for the house, like curtains for our bedroom and new lights for the dinning room
- wake up in the morning and not feel the terror of what will happen again at work
- wake up on tuesdays and go to the farmers market and buy my fruits and veggies and tons of flowers to fill the house with again
- wake up in the morning content with the things I did for myself the day before...the good way I ate...the sufficient way I moved my body...the serenity I offered my soul
- finish my balcony and not feel inadequate to my plants
- go shopping and buy sandals and cute summer tops
The thing that causes me both tremendous amounts of panic and relief is that I only have 17 days till this project starts, and 21 till its over.
Think of me, and send me good thoughts of support.