Sunday, October 31, 2004
Saturday's Party
I was in the tv station at 11 yesterday. We started working on making the tv spot right away. We finished at 6 in the evening. 7 hours were spent to make a 30 minutes commercial. Cut and paste scenes. Make sure she doesn't look fat. Make sure she shows her best profile. Make sure she has the best smile. Make sure she looks better than the other singer that will share her stage in the music hall. Make sure each of the ladies were shown for the exact equal amount of time, 15 seconds each. Boy what madness!

I was home at 6.30 and left at 7.30 to go to the rehearsal. As soon as I left home my mobile rung. It was my friend Sophia.

"O.M.G. Argyro!" She exclaimed. "We just got home and you won't believe what is happening!!! The pylon is missing!!!"

Our friends house is in a hill. They have a wonderful huge balcony with amazing view. You can see from the Acropolis down to the port of Pireaus, the ocean, the city, everything. But about 50 meters from their house they had a power pylon, which not only cut some of the view, but was highly unhealthy too! And they went home to see it missing!

So Sophia wanted to call all their friends for an party. I told her Angelos would go and I would go there after the rehearsal, god knows what time though.

At around 11.30 I arrived at their house. I could hear the music playing loud. I was tired, I was hungry, and I wanted to sleep! I rung the bell, took the stairs, and saw my friends' happy face as they opened the door. 12 people were there. The snacks were chips, doritos, peanuts and all kinds of nuts, dips, and sweets. There was lotsa alcohol, and lotsa diet sodas.

I must have drunk a litre of diet coke. I must have almost touched each and every morsel of chips and doritos and nuts. Almost. My hand would go to the bowls and I'd quickly take it back. That was for the first hour or so. Because then their party mood became addicted, and I started dancing too.

We all danced till 5 am. It has been ages since I've danced that much! The night was humid but the temperature was in the 25's (amazing it is still that hot ... we have christmas in less than 8 weeks!!!!!)

And as soon as I started dancing I was not hungry anymore, but happy! Yes, happy! I could move this body to whichever rythm was playing graciously. I could feel the rythm inside me and I would not keep it there, as I used to do 36 kilos ago, but let it emmerse and conquer my whole being, from the tip of my toes to the tip of my head. I danced with my husband and he would swirl me and turn me round and people made space for us and I felt great! We all danced frantically at times. We would jump and make funny moves and act like 13 year olds!

You want to know the best part?

My feet do not ache this morning!

Posted by Argy at 11:55 am | 4 comments

Saturday, October 30, 2004
How good is an easy way out?
Yesterday I woke up very early. I had the longest day planned with work meetings and radio spots to be made and photos to be picked, and calls to be made for my premieres (two, Nov. 1 and 2). But Thursday was a national holiday here, and I only worked for 4 hours, had a great rest all day and slept early, so when I woke all by myself on Friday at 7, I was thrilled!

I made my coffee, read your blogs, put on my running shoes, hit the treadmill, showered, made breakfast, and turned on the TV. From 6am to 10 am there are two shows, mostly about news and stuff. In one of them they had dieticians, nutritians, all the diet-health oriented people with an -itian ending. They compared Greece to USA and Northern Europe, and they resulted that here, we eat better, mainly due to the abondance of olive oil, fresh fish and legumes, and also because of traditional mediterenean eating that luckily has not yet become obsolete. However, they did run the bell of danger. Statistics about growing numbers of fatness in many age groups, mainly kids and teens and elders. And then they offered solutions. Lotsa them. They showed overweight people, in the range of 90 to 100 kilos. And doctors. And the doctors made suggestions. The following:

(now here you will have to bear with my Greekiness and lack of correct English terminology)

  1. A kind of baloon thingy that is inserted in your stomach, so that it feels full all the time
  2. Gastric By Pass
  3. Cutting part of your stomach
  4. A new revolutionary surgery I did not really understood
  5. Diet pills
  6. Enzymes that make you not hungry

Quite a collection, don't you think?!

Not one bastardious person there mentioned diet and exercise. Not one! I was so angry, I could feel my face getting red. The people there had 35 kilos to loose at the most! I know so many of you that have lose 40 and 50 and 60 and still struggle for more. It has taken us time. And it has required determintaion. And tears. And falling down and climbing up again. But for god's sake, it is DOABLE!!!!!

In the mornings, while I am in the shower, or afterwards, when I am applying body lotion, I have caught myself feeling me. I have read that many of you do it too recently.You feel your toned arms, your smaller thighs. I have caught myself feeling my belly. I have caught myself caressing my belly and smile. I am hoping I will not get my period this week. I know we just started and that it will be almost impossible to succeed from the first time, but I am hoping. And that makes me feel that our body is indeed a miracle. It produces life. It runs all by itself, should we care for it or not. It is a perfect machine. How can you just cut a piece of it, without reason, is beyond my imagination. It is disrespect to nature, can't you not see it?It is amputation. Why does it not matter, because it is not visible? (I stop here, before I become as tiring to you and the jehova's witnesses become to some!)

On a good note, Core and I have become friends. I love the program. I eat a LOT! My dinner always contains bulgur or brown rice or couscous. This is heaven for me. I always want something to go with my meats. Salad or baked veggies or steamed brocolli was not enough. A pack of 700 gr meat of any form (minced chicken, beef, chicken fillet, lean lamp) and a big cup of either raw bulgur or rice or couscous is shared equally between me and my husband, along with lotsa veggies. I am having breakfast, fruits mainly, and lunch too, the salads, you know. And I am also having some fruit after dinner, pommedegranate or grapes. And since October 19 (91.3 kgs) I today weighed and have lost 1.6 kg (89.7). I have cut back on oil, I am now trying to not use more than 15 flex in a week. I will continue like this.

I got to go now. Its almost 10 to 10, and we will have to rush and do the grocerry shopping, because I have booked a studio to make a tv spot for my big diva singer at 11.15. This will go on till 8 in the evening. For a 30 second spot. On a Saturday. Oh this life I have recently! Someone call my partner and tell her its about time to come back to work please?


Posted by Argy at 9:01 am | 5 comments

Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Quickie
I woke up this morning and walked in the treadmill again. I added five more minutes, so it was 35 mins in 6.0 to 6.7 speed. Still 0 incline though.

I ate very well yesterday too. I had a small breakfast this morning, and I am planning in eating my salad soon...I am hungry!!!

Yes dg babes, it is tupperw*re. It is the one that has this thingy inside where you can also dry your salad. And when you close it it gets all the air out too, and that's how it keeps it fresh for 5 days!

I got a crazy schedule, so I better get back to work. I just wanted to let you know that my determination is still on gear!

Posted by Argy at 1:52 pm | 2 comments

Monday, October 25, 2004
Determined
It is exactly how I woke up this morning. Determined to start working out! What made me feel like this was the dust I saw on the treadmill yesterday. So much dust that made me really angry! Not with myself. But with the way I have let work interfere with my daily routine. The daily routine that actually is designed to keep me healthy and sane.

It is 3.45 p.m. now and I still feel the buzz in my body. I walked in 6.5 km/hr for 30 minutes. I was close to fainting down when I finished. Boy have I lost some fitness levels! I used to do this for 45 - 60 mins every day and had stamina for more and now 30 minutes and my legs were shaking! But I promised me that I will do it tomorrow, and then the day after, and then it will be Friday and I will have a straight 5 days!!!!

I have been very busy during the weekend. Let me fill you in...

Saturday we did go boot shopping. Remember how I was hoping to hear the zzzzzziiiiiiippppp sound up my calf? Well...it was more like a zzzziii....iiii....urrrghhh....iiii...a lit more...squeeze some flesh in...iipppp sound! But ladies, I now proudly own the first shop bought pair of boots in the last 3 years!Surely my poor calves suffocate in them. But they are inside! The zipper went up!!! All the way!!!

Then, we went to M&S. Every skirt I tried was a 16. And the best news is that I bough none! Yes, you hear me right. I did not buy anything. And the reason is that I did not like them that much to spend my money on them! I know you think (once again) that I am weird. But you got to understand that I have shopped for clothes for so long based on the fact if they fit or not.

Then we went to our organic grocery shop. And I shopped for our food so wisely. Nothing that does not belong to the Core list of goodies went into our cart. I figured that if it isnt home then it won't be tempting. I bough a huge quantity of grapes (8 kilos!) and I made a sweet with grapes that sort of resembles jam, but with the whole fruit, not smashed. Typical greek thing. We make this from all kinds of fruits, and we call them spoon sweets, because usually a big tsp of it is satisfying. My husband is crazy about grape spoon sweet. I am not too fond of it, unless I eat it with yogurt. And in 8 kgs of fruit I put 1 kg of brown sugar, plus spices, so if the worse comes to worse and I have to have something sweet, I think this is the less dangerous one. I also made a deal with Angelos before buying all those grapes that if he wants chocolate or anything else he should not bring it at home. Not till December 5.

I then decided to experiment in legumes. I got all different varieties in beans in different sizes and colours. I also got tons of greens with many herbs. I cut up a big quantity of fresh salad, put it in my miraculous TW container that keeps it fresh for 5 days, boiled 2 different kinds of beans, so now in the morning all I have to do is take a container, open the freeze, take our the salad container and the bean container, add some of each to the empty container, add balsamic vinegar, my 2 tsp of olive oil, and ta da! I have lunch for work!!!

I also got me some bananas and pears and plain 1% fat yogurt, and this is breakfast darlings. I am having breakfast again!

Ah. I also got pomegranates. This is dessert after dinner. I love it, and it takes ages to eat one!

Tonight I will grill solomon fillets and will steam brocolli, carrots, and cauliflower.

So now tell me. Do I (at least) sound determined? *wink*

Till tomorrow ....

Posted by Argy at 3:16 pm | 4 comments

Saturday, October 23, 2004
Numbers Madness
So the scales today show a .8 kg gain from the day before yesterday that showed a 1.1 loss from Monday. Now what is this huh?

It is the kind of insanity that makes me wanna yell! I had a piece of roasted pork with no fat on for lunch yesterday with cucumbers. I had bulgur with lean beef for dinner. And a piece of feta cheese too. But then, it is almost the end of the week and I have been having 13 out of the 35 flex points I am supposed to have.

Ah numbers!!!

My husband has an eye for me. When I gain weight he never says anything. Except on the instances I say "Hon I think I've gained some weight". He then will say "Yes darling, but it is not more than a kilo and a half!" I will then go and weigh and always ALWAYS he is right! I tell him he has scales in his eyes. He tells me the scales are on his hands *wink*. So this morning, one of the rare Saturdays he is not working, while we were cudling in bed, he said "Hon, this core thing youre doing is paying off, I can feel you lost some weight" So you understand how I felt when I went to the scales to see a gain.

On Thursday night at the theatre, I saw people I had not seen since May, the official end of the theatre season here in Athens. And they honestly were exclaiming all the time "OMG how did you do it?!You look so different!!!" bla bla bla...

Of course it is nice to hear such things. But for me, this has become dangerous you know. I want to loose weight! And compliments sort of disorient me. I feel good and loose track.

I think I am moody this morning....

There is one thing that really bothers me about being fat. I have to have my boots custom made. Because boots from normal shops do not zip up my calf. So I have to order them out of a very limited design selection. And pay a fortune for them too. While if I was to buy them in the shops, I'd get 3 pairs for the amount of money I pay. I have not done the boot test yet. I have been thinking secretly about it all summer. I have been dreaming of the moment I'd go in a shoe shop, see a pair of boots I like, get in, sit, ask for it in my size, take off my shoes, take the boot, and hear the zzzzzzzzzzzp as it zips up my calf.

I think I am going to go boot shopping today. This is the day for the test! If it is good, then I will tell myself that the .8 gain of today is water retention since from last saturday till today is my ovulation period. Or else, I will feel angry and sorry for myself. Listen to me. I sound like the pms queen this morning. Come on, send me away!

Posted by Argy at 10:55 am | 1 comments

Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Recipes
You know what is brilliant when I am dieting? I get so creative in the kitchen that what finally goes into our plates is so delicious, that it amazes me why I am not constantly in diet! Of course, then I recall chocolate and other deserts *wink*

So today, I will give you some things I cooked the last 3 days while I am trying to find my way in Core :)

Spinach with rice

Take a non sticking pan, use some cooking spray or olive oil (but count the points for the oil out of your 35 flex ones) and brown a couple of shallots, a couple of leeks, and a big bunch of drill. Add a 500 gr pack of (organic) spinach, some water, and let it boil for 5 minutes. Then add a cup of brown rice, squeeze 2 lemons, add salt and pepper to your taste (but lots of coarse fresh grounded pepper makes it better) and let it cook till the rice is cooked and all the liquids are almost absorbed. We had it with grilled shrimps but its a great meal all on its own!

Chicken mince with stuff!

That was last night and it was brilliant!!!

Our mate the non sticking pan gets on fire again. Two garlic cloves get smashed and enter the pan. A yellow, a red, a green and an orange pepper get cut into small peices and join the fun. Same goes for bits of portobello mushrooms. When all of these start to soften, we add the chicken mince, preferably made by ourselves from skinless chicken breasts so we have no fat. We add some soy sauce, squeeze a lemon, salt, pepper, a little water, then add about a cup of bulgur wheat, cover it, or else the smells will make you try it hot and burn the tip of your tongue, like I did, and let it absorb all liquids till it gets ready.

I have also rediscovered the wooden sticks where you put chunks of meat with chunks of vegies and/or fruit to grill and they are always tasting better than just meat with veggies since the essences blent.

That is all for now. I have not been totally yelled at yet, and that has made my day! But I am still waiting since althought I told my producer, I am not sure he has told the artists yet. But TimeOut is on tomorrow, so my peace actually has an expiry date!

Cheers my sweets :)


Posted by Argy at 2:05 pm | 2 comments

Tuesday, October 19, 2004
91.3
Tis my weight you know. I am not too happy about it. With my bad eating during dinner, the chocolates during the weekend, without eating all day long and with almost having my last bite in my mouth before falling asleep, this is what has happened. I thought that I'd escape, since I was actually escaping a gain all this time, but apparently it was just a matter of time.

Yesterday it was my first core day. I actually wrote an entry about it. Blogger was hungry and ate it though! I have questions and I do not know where to ask but here, since Core has not reached Greece yet.

So I read that brown rice and pasta and potatoes are limited to one meal per day. Cooked hot cereal are also limited to one meal per day. Does that mean I can have either hot cereal (I love porridge in the fall and winter, I cook it with mostly water and a tad of milk, I grate an apple, put lotsa cinnamon and nutmeg and cloves and a bit of honey too..tis soooo delicious) or rice? Couscous though is not limited into one meal per day...is it?

I think I will spend most of my 35 flex points on olive oil. Just two teaspoonfuls a day is too little for my Greekiness! We live on olive oil! And it is good for me too. I am used to eating olive oil, and if this is the only fat I am taking (no butter, etc.) I think it won't be a problem.

The most difficult thing about doing Core was to actually have 3 meals. I managed to have some pears for breakie yesterday and today but it did take lots of effort. Lunch was not easy either. And then I wanted a bigger dinner because I was used to eat eat eat in the evening.

Which comes to show me that if I want my hard work to pay off, I have to stick to it. It is so easy to eat unbalanced. I have been used to it. And while it takes time to adjust to new better habbits, it certainly takes a LOT less time to return to the "good" ole ones.

I don't want to!!! I felt so much better yesterday watching Angelos eat the remaining chocolate covered raisins than actually eating them myself. Control is something that really makes me feel I am aiming towards something.

I have had a huge crisis at work and I am expecting phone calls that will yell at me with the worst possible words a man can pronounce. My assistant forgot to send the material for Thursday's premiere in the TimeOut magazine. That means we will not even be in the listings. There are some things she does without me checking her. They are routine stuff. This was one. However I cannot but take the responisbility myself. Noone cares what mistakes an assistant does. I can't yell at her either. She has been overworked like I have been. But noone cares or will understand. These are the things that make me want to change my career. I want to do P.R. for tangibles now. Artists have become unbearable for me! Gimme chockies, gimme tyres, gimme diapers, I don't care!!!

Oi...I see I am rambling again. A sign for me to log off!

Cheers my sweets...I will most probably update tomorrow to enrich your vocabulary with the nasty, unpronouncable new bad words I will hear sooner or later!




Posted by Argy at 7:50 pm | 3 comments

Saturday, October 16, 2004
Revelation
I came back home at 1 am last night. I had two openings to do, in two different theatres, about 5 km apart. The first premiere was at 9 o clock, so I went there at 8 with my list and my precious assistant, seated everyone by writting their seat numbers in their invitations, arranged where the cameras will stand in the theatre, and let N. stay there and deal with the rest. She only had 180 seats to deal with, and the other theatre was a lot bigger (450 seats) and with many more celebrities that were going to act up, so I left to go tot he other. I was then at 9 in theatre no 2 faced the madness till 10.30 that the play started, actually watched half of it, then went to the near by bar where we had a party scheduled, saw that everything was ok, then went back to the theatre for the applause, took everyone to the bar and then returned home.

It is very unpleasant to return home from a very long day - I was at the office since 9am - and find it totally quiet. My husband had tried to wait up for me, but I found him asleep half seated in bed with the lights on and an open book in his lap. I made him lay down properly, turned off the lights, and went to the kitchen.

I poured myself a glass of wine, took the dinner he had left for me, and went to the living room, to eat something and watch some tv to calm down and go to bed.

So I was slowly sipping the wine, when I realised from the first sip that I had nothing to eat all day.The first sip of the wine made me all warm and by the end of the first glass I felt kinda tipsy. I poured myself another and I picked on my food with not much interest. My brain was full of thoughts nesting there for the last few days, waiting a peaceful environment to untangle themselves.

I was seriously thinking about posting that I had them all written down, but I was so comfortable in the sofa sipping wine and feeling a tad tipsy that I seriously could not bother.

So here I am today, fresh after waking up at noon (!!!!!), having the first weekend in the last month with no actual work to do - besides going to an agency to pick up some artists photos - sipping my coffee and posting with no actual rush! Bliss I tell you. My husband will be home from work in an hour or so, and we will go grocerry shopping and perhaps some fun shopping too! We have no plans for tonight, which is perfect too!!!

Last night I was thinking about too many things. I was thinking about you and all your sweet comments. You touched my heart. You made me blush. You made me feel love. And this is when I realised that love is the most important thing. It really is. In each and every second of our days, the things that matter are the things we love. The things we do for love. The things we do of love.

We love our bodies and we take care of them.
We love this red shirt and we wear it often and feel gorgeous on it.
We love chocolate and we often cannot resist.
We love working out and we put on our running shoes and go.
We love relaxing and we decide not to hit the gym today.
We love people and we show it to them.

Thinking about these and tons of others too, I realised that I don't love my job anymore. I care for her, but don't love her anymore. This was something that made my breath stop. Honestly. I have struggled for all this time and now I realised that I don't love what I am putting so much of myself at. Which brought to my mind, for some weird reason, what my therapist always points out. Let me tell you...

He always tells me (and others too) that all behaviour we call "weird", all feelings we cannot explain, moodiness etc are based on one thing only. Our refusal to become fully responsible adults. This is not a choise we make. This is the trial of our inner child which is angry or hurt or whatever, to remain a child till we resolve the issues of our childhood. He always tells me that a fat body is a body overfed to avoid its sexuality. A fat body is a declaration of a person that wants to verify their inabillity to be loved. It is a statement.

I have felt this through my course of therapy. And I have understood it to my core. Now, after all this time, he teases me and says that I am not 5 anymore, but not 21 either, though getting close. I think that what has happened to me lately, with the extra responsibilities at work and my mom's illness is exactly this.

I have been forced to become the responsible adult in my family, and take care of my mom and doctors and hospitals and all. To calm down my dad and brother. I have taken all responsibility at work where my partner was the head all this time. I have been forced to speed up my "growing up" in two important functions of my life, work and family. I swear, I felt my shoulders collapsing last night. Especially when I realised I do it for my family out of pure love, but I do it for my business only because I have to.

So I took decisions.

First and foremost, I am resuming my weight loss. I went to Angel's blog, and shamelessly copied the core program from her (thank you Angel dear :). As soon as I log off, I am making my grocerry list based on the Core. I will give it a week and see how it goes.

I called my mother's doctor this morning. She has her last treatment next week. He said she seems to do fine but he can't tell until the biopsy which will take place about 3 to 4 weeks after her last treatment. I decided that I will go to Cuba and bring her the scorpio medicine that is supposed to cure cancer, have her take it before the biopsy. I only have to work on the finances because right now I do not have the money for the trip, but I will manage.

I decided that I will not stay for much longer in my company. I decided that it is time for me to become selfish too. Shamelessly selfish. As of tonight, close to ovalution I may add, we will start trying to extend our family. Angelos does not know this yet, but I must tell you, this is one surprise that will take him to the sky!!! He has been waiting for this for seven years!!! As soon as I get pregnant, have our child, and become ready for work again, I will leave this company, and decide on what I want to do workwise. In the meantime, I will take it easy, depending on how my situation progresses. Yesterday my partner was telling me how wonderful it is to have a baby and she added that it is about time I think about it too. So I did...heheh

I must tell you, love is energy. And love for the small things make the difference. In our lives. And in our souls. But last night I understood one thing again. That it is not possible to really love unconditionally unless we love ourselves. Unconditionally. For who we are and also for who we are not. Love ourselves for our successes. And love ourselves for our failures. Love ourselves for making the effort. But love ourselves for loosing track too. Ladies, we are all gems, you know? Each and every human being is a gem. Some are polished and you can easily tell. Some are rough. Some have been thrown in the mud and have become dirty and you can not even imagine they are gems. All it takes is the love to take a piece of cloth and rub it softly, till it cleanses. Love will make it shine too. As a morbidly obese woman before I have felt that there was not a possibility for someone to love me. Such a lie. Back then there was not a possibility of me loving me. The moment that changed, things started falling into place. I tell you. The cure is not core or the treadmill. The cure is to love ourselves unconditionally. This is the only way to take care of us the way we deserve. And now if you excuse me, I am going to make my grocerry list!

And become soppy once more and tell you that I really love you!

Posted by Argy at 1:30 pm | 4 comments

Thursday, October 14, 2004
Thank you
You had me speechless and in tears with each and every comment arriving in my email.

I must rush to the theatre cos we have an avant premiere in one of the plays opening tomorrow, so I got to be there soon.

But I could not go without saying thank you to all of you from the deepest of my heart!

You made me feel and think of so much. I will tell about it all soon.

But really...THANK YOU!

Posted by Argy at 6:41 pm | 2 comments

Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Inspired to confess
I read DG's entry yesterday. And I read Kimba's post today too. Both of these wonderful women spoke about the green eye monster. Jealousy. I was once again stunned by two things. First, I was stunned by their honesty. Second, I was stunned by the similarity of our feelings.
Both of them equally inspired me to confess as well.
I, too, read journals that make me envious. In a nice inspiring way. But envious all together. Right now, my jealousy is not targeted in how much weight these great ladies loose. My jealousy is based on their ability to follow a routine. Because routine means planning. And planning means success.
So here is my list of things I am jealous of:
  1. I am jealous of summer's entrance in Oz and New Zealand
  2. I am jealous of houses with gardens
  3. I am jealous of big parks and small rivers and nice little towns
  4. I am jealous of regular working out
  5. I am jealous of 8 - hour working days
  6. I am jealous of grocery shopping
  7. I am jealous of cooking
  8. I am jealous of the Core program that has not still reached Greece
  9. I am jealous of the rush of endorfines I have not felt in so long

Here. This is my list. I offer it to you to comment and critisize and honestly I think that it doesn't matter to me if you think I am a split personality that has gone from totally possitive and uplifting to completely gloomy and nagging all the time. Because, to tell you the total truth, sometimes I feel like one. It is very difficult to wear pink. Here at the office, I have two girls and a trainee who came in last week. I am using all my patience and calmness to them so that they will not freak out more that they already have. I am also taking the remaining of my being human to the couple of hours at the most I am spending with my husband. And all my positivity is aimed at my mom.

I just realise that I might sound a bit upset at the last bit of this post. The truth is I am. I received a couple of emails the last couple of days from people saying I have sort of disappointed them. They said that I was so ful of life and good energy but that lately I am always speaking about how tired I am and such. I was not going to bring this up, but it just flew over the tips of my fingers as I am typing this. I have no intention to apologise. I am going through a very difficult time in my life and if this is not amusing to you, you can always delete the link to this blog. I am taking full responsibility of my situation. I should have estimated things better and refuse a few projects. But since I agreed to take them, I am obliged to run them to the best possible way. So I got myself in this mess, and I am going to have to deal with it. And I will do it. The same way I got myself in a weight of 130 kilos and dealt with it. Still dealing.

Bottomline is, till the end of October, things here will be sporadic, with few updates now and then. These updates will most probably be about the madness I am in right now combined with some effort to follow a routine in my eating. Come back beginning of November for more uplifting stuff. Which will always depend on my mom's cure or lack of.

You ladies that read to this last bit, thank you for your niceness to read all through my venting. You know I love you, don't you?


Posted by Argy at 11:26 am | 8 comments

Monday, October 11, 2004
One project (almost) down
Yesterday afternoon I returned home from the longest five days of my life.

The congress desk that I was in charge of was supposed to be open from 08.00 to 18.00. It was a long ten hours as it was. You will be able to imagine how it turned out to be only if I tell you that the congress desk 3 out of the five days closed at 23.00 and that from that time till 01.00 am I was trying to find solutions with the technical supervisor on how to fit equipment for 3 rooms in 7 rooms.

I was carrying overhead projectors from one room to the other in 5 minute intervals so that the next lecture would have one. I was carrying videos, scanners to be adopted to large tv screens for powerpoint presentations, since the beamers were not enough, I was calming down freaked out participants, I was taking 2 minute breaks to go down the toilette and cry to release some stress, then wash my face, wear a smile and return to my post.

In this congress I had the responsibility of the secretariat. I was in charge of registration, the travel of the guest speakers, the promotion of the congress to the media, and in the earlier stage, the posting of the announcements. The CPC (congress planning committee) had the responsibility for the program, the hotel arrangenments, the speakers' technical requirements, and the hiring of the technical equipment. The program was designed according to the content of the abstracts, in a totally theoretical level. Noone took into consideration the technical requirements of the speaker. Noone took into consideration the amount of time each speaker required. They rented basic equipment to fit the main room and the rest were empty. And I discovered all these on Wednesday evening, when I went to the hotel.

The workshops that needed a minimum of 2 hrs were scheduled for one hour. The lectures of the participants that have been approved were suddenly grouped to round tables.

People were angry. The CPC were nowhere to be found to give explanations. It was hell!

Yesterday, the president of the european organisation of the congress, called for me. He had someone take me to the main room where the closing of the congress and the final comments were given. When I entered the room, the board stood up. The president took the microphone, and gave a 5 minute speech about me. They gave me a huge bouquet and 220 people stood up and applauded me. I, of course, after days of tireness and stress, bursted into tears. I could not even say thank you! Soooo embarassing. He said that the congress would have been a complete failure if it wasn't for me and my ability to deal with crisis so promptly. I was pleased and flattered. The CPC, besides one person who worked as hard as I did to save the situation, were not too happy.

My husband took me from the hotel at 16.00 and from the minute I got into the car till the minute we reached home I was crying out loud. I could not stop for the entire 40 minutes of the drive. I had supressed so many screams and cries all these days that a good cry was all I needed.

When we got home, I took a nap for a couple of hours, woke up feeling like a zombie. My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my whole body aches as if I was beaten by 10 truck drivers!!! He took me for a drive to the beach and we watched the sun set. Then we went to our friends' house and we had pizza and chocolate mousse while watching survivor. I felt almost normal. I was in bed by 11 and slept instantly.

Today I woke up at 8, and after 9 hours of solid sleep, I feel a lot better.

But I am sad inside. I am overworked. And I am certain now that this cannot go on for much longer. It was fun when I was younger, but I am fed up with it.

I need my routine back. I need my morning work out. I need my lunches and dinners. I need my grocery shopping. I need my time to cook. Since I am working all day long, I am loosing some weight or maintaining. But the numbers are not all that matter. I am loosing the fitness levels I worked hard for. My metabolism is going crazy with unstable meal times or lack of meals all day and a huge dinner. This cannot go on for much longer me thinks!

Posted by Argy at 11:28 am | 2 comments

Saturday, October 02, 2004
Life facts
I have received a few emails from you my sweets. You are all so kind. Thank you.

Some of you ask what I do and work all these crazy hours. Some of you ask how I manage. So I decided to give you some life facts about me, that will make my ramblings more understandable.

Since January 2002, another woman and me started a Public Relations company. Our main clients are theatre and concert producers. They put up the shows, we are doing the promo. I used to work in a concert and ballet producer, doing PR and production too. She was a free lancer in theatre promotion. We have known each other through work for 10 years. She reached a point where she either had to grow or stay there for ever. I had quit my job because it was a madhouse. Timing was good when she proposed to start a company together.

She had the office all set up, and offered me the choise to pay her off half of what was in the office and get a 50 - 50 partnership, or pay nothing and get 60 - 40 deal. I opted for the second. I did not want to invest on something that at the time was just "let's see if this works out".

We are doing well. Well in the sense that in these almost 3 years the business covers its bills and ours too. Nothing fancy. But no struggle either. We both believed that we should give it 3 years and see if it grows. Then reconsider. We both can get work in the field with a great paycheck. Bigger one than our current for sure!

So my partner, who is 45 years old, after years of struggling, gave birth to a wonderful boy beginning of September. Right when the business started to grow!

Right now I am working 4 theatres, Athens's biggest club, a radio station, Athen's bigest music hall, and a big congress starting Oct. 6! My first premiere was last night. My other two theatres premiere in Oct.15. My last Oct. 21. The club does its grand opening on Oct. 21. The music hall opening is on Nov. 5.

It is insane! My partner was suppose to return to work Oct. 15. She told me yesterday she wants a couple of weeks more with the baby. I so much understand her. When I will have my baby I will want a couple more years with them. But I am so tired I get cranky.

I feel my shoulders collapsing from all this weight. Not only I have more work than I can handdle. I hired a second assistant and it is not enough. I can't afford a third. Even if I did though, it wouldn't be usueful really. See, they can do so much only, and they do not want to take the responsibility of deciding on the spot. Because of the madness in the entertainment business. So I have to decide on the format of the program book. I have to decide on the tableclothes. I have to call and arrange the nterviews. I have to be in the theatre and deal with the sponsors. I have to decide what bloody coffee they will serve on the bloody press conference.

And all this is happening in a way that shouts "If you make it now then this company WILL grow. And when this company grows then you will be better off financially, not to mention the satisfaction you will get from this accomplishment!"

Sometimes I just want to quit and sell herbs in the local fruit market!!!!

Never in my life I had a nice job where like a normal person I would finish at 5 p.m. But I am a mazochist and love the buzz.

I weighed in this morning. Nice 87.8 kg. I am not eating well. I have some apples during the day. This is all I can eat when under so much stress. Then I have a huge dinner, not huge in quantity as much, as in calories and fats. I try to justify my choises by telling to myself that I am eating healthy foods. The fats are olive oil, there is not a single food item in this house that it is not organic. I am saved by the fact that I am running around from 9 in the morning till 10 in the evening the earliest. Most working days now exceed 13 solid hours in a row.

I need to get back to a normal routine. But this won't happen for at least another month. It is almost 11 am now and I need to get foing to work. With the congress starting on wednesday I will be working all weekend too!

A part of me, the masochistic one, loves all this madness. There is always a moment in my day where I feel that I surprise myself with a wam feeling of accomplishing yet another task. I think that if my mind wasnot occupied with all this worry about my mom, things would not have been that bad. I have some bad moments. Really gloomy ones. Where I am in the WC peeing and finding myself petrified by the thought that this so trivial thing is something that my mom may not be able to ever do again after 4 weeks. Then I remind myself I must have hope. I really do. It is jsut that sometimes...

I do not think I will be back posting before Oct. 11 when my congress ends. But I am positive that I will benefit from this congress a lot and I feel that I will also get so much from it too. It is a psychotherapy congress. With lotsa yoga and tai chi and massages and energetic stuff. The only pain in the arse is that the bloody congress desk has to open at fucking 7 am!!!!

See you in ten days :)

Posted by Argy at 10:19 am | 4 comments

About Me
I have spent all 36 years of my life loving life itself and this will never change. I am a great lover of the smallest things. I am addicted to smells and I attach them to people and events. It is impossible for me to wake up without ice in my coffee.

Stats
Age: 37
Height: 1.68 cm
SW: 130kg/286lbs
CW: 86 kg/189.2lbs
GW: 69 kg/151.8lbs
Lost: 44 kg/96.8lbs
Left: 17kg/37.4lbs

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